I had no idea what I was in for when I became the parent to a little girl. You see, my wife and I had already had two little boys. So I thought I had the hang of this whole parenting thing. But man, when, when I had a little girl, my world just changed. You know, if you're watching this right now, I want to challenge you to share that you are a proud hashtag girl dad in the comments of whatever platform you're watching this on, go ahead and let us know if you are a girl, dad go ahead and share with us right now because you know exactly what I'm talking about. No, I absolutely love my little girl. She's daddy's little girl. But raising a little girl is just dramatically different than raising little boys. For example, when I tell my boys it's time to get ready. You know, sometimes it's difficult to really get them ready, but the process is not that complicated. Right? You know, questions like, hey boys, are you dressed? Where are your shoes? And did you take a shower today or? Well, let's be honest, we're in quarantine. So do you take a shower this week or swim in the pool? At least write chlorine helps maybe. But when I tell my little girl it's time to get ready, that means something very different. You know, she wants her outfit to match, she wants her shoes to match her outfit and there's all kinds of accessories that I didn't know really existed until we had our little girl and let me just tell you something ladies, I am sorry for not recognizing how much goes in to preparing your hair to go out. Little boys hair. My hair for that matter 30 seconds a minute you're good to go right. But for a girl, I mean, I I am still trying to figure out this whole girl hair thing four years into being a hashtag girl. Dad, I can barely get a ponytail done and I have no chance at a braid right now. Dads who are listening and watching this, if you can perform a braid of any kind, I want you to use this as a moment to brag on yourself or ladies. You can brag on your husband's or or throw them into the same category as myself, where I'm just clueless when it comes to taking care of or preparing a little girl's hair, I didn't know that their hair gets so tangled so easily. And that's why I was so grateful when I learned that there is a spray or foam, They come in different forms that it's called a de tangle. Er It's like magic, is that after, you know, Chloe has swam or played or something where her hair got a little little tangled and knotted up, that I can spray this de tangle er and yes, it takes some work, but ultimately with a wet brush or a comb, you can then work out the tangles. Now I say all that because when I think about tangled hair or the magic of a spray that comes from a d tangle er I think we could all use a little bit of detail angler right now for our minds, couldn't we? Now, just to timestamp this message we are getting ready to launch into the fall of 2020 this week. Specifically, we are sending our kids virtually back to school and and that leads to a lot of questions, doesn't it? Like when are we gonna be able to go back to school? Is it safe for kids to go back to school? Will they learn anything? Am I gonna be able to help them learn anything? I feel for all the teachers and workers out there. How am I gonna juggle work with kids at home and on school. And how does this all work together when you put that with the financial stress and the covid pandemic still at large across our country right now or relational stress that might come within your family or in the community or in your friendships, it just seems like a big tangled mess which can leave you feeling anxious? I'm just glad that there's something unifying like a national election to bring us all together and Okay, yeah, that's not gonna help visit. So what are we gonna do? How do we respond? How do we navigate this new normal? Well, today marks the launch of a brand new series entitled Everyone Together as the theologian Troy bolton once said we're all in this together? Okay, so he's not a theologian. He was the main character on High School Musical, but it still remains true that while it seems crazy while the times are uncertain, everyone, you, me and our community in our country, we are in this together. And so the goal of this series is to help you navigate this new normal through a biblical worldview and lens. I want to help connect with where you are and then show you biblical principles to help you take you to where you need to go. Today's message is entitled the anxiety of anxiety. Now I repeated myself on purpose because I want to actually address what does anxiety actually do in our lives. So we shared all the circumstances that are causing anxiety right now. But what does it actually do? How does it show up in our life? What does the bible actually say about anxiety and then how can we apply the bible into our lives so that it lowers the level of anxiety in our lives? Well, if you're taking notes, I want you to write down this big idea, calming the anxiety within you will help you care for the people around you. My guess is not only are you trying to manage the stress in your life, but you have people that you care about around you. And so it's natural to worry about those people. And so you might be sitting there watching or or maybe you're listening later on a podcast, but you're, you're thinking to yourself, how am I supposed to lead my family or my friends or my business or the community? When I'm not even quite sure how to lead myself, but I know this truth to have application right now because when you can calm the anxiety within you, when you can collectively take that deep breath, you will be better equipped and suited to care for the people around you. So where does anxiety actually come from? Author and pastor steve cuss defined chronic anxiety this way he said that chronic anxiety is whatever response happens after not getting what you think you need? I like this definition because it goes a little bit deeper than worry or fear. It really is your body's response to not receiving something that you think you need to have. In other words you do a you expect be, but instead you get see your cue or the number seven, I don't know, it's just when your expectations aren't met, then your body responds in a certain way and he goes on to share that there are three physical activators to anxiety. In other words, these are subconscious body responses to when your body begins to feel anxious, think about a warning light that pops on on the dashboard in your car. These are the warning lights that pop up that tell you you might be feeling anxious, the spinning mind, a racing heart or the tightening of the gut. Now, a spinning mind means do you keep thinking about the situation over and over and over again? That's probably the one that applies most to me. And I used to think that I really wasn't that anxious of a person because I always attached anxiety to worry and fear. Now that is a component of anxiety, but you can have an anxious response even if you're not worried for me, I repeatedly recycled the same situation over and over again, oftentimes too, losing sleep and I find myself to staying up at night for other people when they experience anxiety, their heart starts to begin to beating faster and they start to sweat a little bit? Or maybe some have a tightening of the gut or a nauseous feeling or maybe it's not the gut. Maybe you have a stiff neck or tight shoulders and your body responds when you're stressed out about something. These are physical activators to anxiety or really like warning lights and signs that you have an anxious response, you can have an interest response in a variety of ways. So, for example, if you are prone to action now, that could be seen as a good thing, right? When something stressful happens, you want to respond and you want to act, but you want to also pause for a moment and ask why are you working harder, are you working harder to help people or are you working harder to say that you did something and really it's an anxious response now, while some people tend to respond to anxiety by overworking other people, respond to anxiety by doing nothing at all, they get overwhelmed and therefore they end up binging netflix at the end of the night. I understand that one as well or maybe there are others of you watching right now, that your natural response to anxiety, your warning light is that you start to nit pick on a small issue that somebody else is going through and the reason you do that is because you have an uncontrolled situation in front of you and so because you can't control that situation, you decide to pick on a smaller situation that now you can have control, that's why it's common for unmarried relationships or friendships when someone is stressed out going through a difficult time for that person to snap at somebody close by, it's because I can't respond here and so I will respond here. These are our physical activators to anxiety now, where does this really come from at a deeper level? What are the triggers that actually leads to our body responding this way? For me, when I did some personal reflection, I realized that growing up, I seem to fight against this, need to perform and that came from feeling overlooked at times, I wasn't the coolest kid and and so I fit in but I was just kind of like in the background, I was just kind of a nice guy, right? And in sports, I didn't get the scholarship that I was looking for and so that you know what I'm gonna grind and I'm gonna I'm gonna work for this and several different working positions. I felt overlooked for one position or leadership opportunity here or there and so inside of me without really thinking about it, I have this inner need to overcome being overlooked. So because of that, I have a strong desire to be understood to be heard and to be right now, this comes into play in my relationships because when I argue, it really bothers me when I don't think somebody understands the point that I'm making and I tend to argue and I tend to argue for the sake of winning and that goes back to an anxious response I had from a fear I had when I was much younger now, other people respond or have different needs. For example, author bob Gough shared that when he was a kid, someone made a comment one time that he was stupid and as small as that comment was, it's stuck with him through the 1st 3rd of his whole life. So he wanted to overcome this feeling of being stupid by working harder and outsmarting and and communicating in a way, because he never wanted to feel dumb. What is your anxiety trigger? Do you need control? Do you need trust maybe you've been betrayed in your past, do you need to be liked by others? Once you can identify that need or that trigger it then allows you to acknowledge what's going on in a given situation. So for example, if you're at a business meeting and somebody doesn't like your presentation, if that's a trigger for you, when you leave that presentation, you're not going to focus on the nine people that agreed with you, you're going to focus on the one person that didn't and you're gonna be obsessed with, how you can get that person to come on your side. Dr Henry Cloud went a little bit further and he said that the body has natural negative tendencies to anxiety and Dr Henry Cloud said this is that when negative things happen to us, we tend to make it personal, pervasive and then permanent. So when a bad situation happens you didn't think, oh man that's all on me, they hate me, I'm not good enough. And then we start to think, well does anybody like me, well will I ever get that job, Can I get any job? Everybody's against me? And then we moved to making it permanent and say I will never get promoted or if it's a relationship, maybe you've been betrayed and you say man it's me, am I not pretty enough, am I not smart enough, why would that person betray me? And then we think well if I can't trust this person, then I can't trust anybody. And maybe you've brought baggage from previous relationships into new ones and you struggle with trust and then you go maybe even a step further and say I will never be able to trust again. But thankfully, while these are negative physical responses, we can turn to scripture and we can find the solution to facing and battling anxiety In Luke. Chapter 12 Jesus was speaking to his disciples and he taught on the topic of anxiety. These are the very words of Jesus who died on the cross for us and rose again. He didn't just promise eternal life, but also abundant meaningful life right now. And so in this context, he speaks to his disciples and he says therefore, I tell you do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat, nor about your body, what you will put on for life is more than food and the body more than clothing. Consider the Ravens, they neither sow nor reap. They have neither storehouse nor barn yet God feeds them. Of how much more value are you than the birds and which of you? By being anxious, can add a single hour to the span of his life. Let's continue. If then you are not able to do as small a thing as that. Then why are you anxious about the rest? Consider the lilies, how they grow, they neither toil nor spin, yet they tell you even Solomon who Solomon was the most famous, the most rich person who ever lived, he says. And even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. But if God so clothes the grass which is alive in the field today and then tomorrow is thrown into the oven, how much more will he clothe you? O you of little faith and it says and do not seek what you are to eat and what you are to drink. Nor be worried for all the nations of the world, seek after these things and your father knows that you need them now here's the solution, he says instead, So don't be anxious. You can't add to your life. It doesn't better your life. It doesn't solve the situation. But he says instead seek his kingdom and these things will be added to you. The solution to battling anxiety is not to look left, it's not to look right, but it's to look up is to seek God's kingdom. There's a guy by the name of paul who had a horrible past and I say horrible because he rose to the top ranks of religious leaders but he persecuted christians. He was like the ultimate enemy of Christianity, but God came and spoke to him and changed his life on the road to Damascus so that he turned around and became the greatest protagonist or voice for the early christian church. And so here is paul who has seen all the things of the world, he's been up, he's been down and now he's writing to a church in Colossians colossians chapter two verse eight he says, see to it, that no one takes you captive by philosophy or empty to see he had experience in all of these things. He says according to the human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world and not according to christ this phrase right here saying, let no one take you captive. What he's talking about is your mind. So the teachings of the world, The teachings or promotions on social media, Oh wait, did I just say that the news of the world is going to try to take you captive. But that same writer To the church in Romans, he actually said the church in Rome. He says this in Romans, chapter 12 verse two do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by what, by the renewal of your mind. That by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect. Now, if you know the will of God and you know what is good and you know what is perfect. That'll ease the anxiety in your life when you combine those verses together. You see don't let the world take you captive, but instead be transformed by the renewal of your mind when you seek his kingdom. Same author now writing to a different church in courts in Second Corinthians chapter three verse 17 and 18, he says, now the Lord is the spirit and where the spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. Couldn't we use that in our minds right now, he says, and we all with unveiled face beholding the glory of the Lord are being transformed into the same image from the one degree of glory to another. For this comes from the Lord who is the Spirit. So you see here that the transformation of your mind, the connection to the Spirit of God will ultimately set you free. Now, one more verse I want to share with you today and it comes from the Gospel of Matthew. Matthew faced a lot of anxiety in the day because he was a former tax collector. So he taxed his own people, the Jewish people for the sake of a Roman government. And so he wasn't trusted by the Romans. He wasn't liked by his own people and then he becomes a Christian. So then he was persecuted for his faith. And he records these words of Jesus found in Matthew chapter 11 verses 28 and 29, Jesus says, come to me all who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest, take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am a gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. Now in preparation for this message, I came across some commentary that really gave me a lightbulb moment when it comes to how to handle anxiety because when I used to read this verse, I would focus in on words like come to me because it's an invitation, right? It's all jesus is inviting me. And then I would see words like rest or rest for your souls or gentle and lowly in heart, I was like, oh God's gonna give me a nap, God's gonna give me an all inclusive resort. I can just go be with jesus. The problem though, is this little word called yoke, you see the yolk, let me show you a picture of a yoke. The yolk was really something that early farmers used to plow their fields. It was an instrument that was placed on two or more oxen to work inside the field. Now, if you take that in modern context, it would be like a tractor or a piece of machinery for a farmer. So when you put it in modern context, it's a little weird that jesus would say come to me receive rest for I give you a tractor to go to work. Now, that seems a little odd, right? But what I realized was that there are multiple places under a yoke to carry the weight. And what he's saying is that if you take my yoke upon you, I will carry the weight of what you are struggling with and here's the key to handling anxiety? You might be looking to religion for an escape? But in this verse we see that jesus doesn't give us escape. He gives us equipment and says, let's go and get to work. So work might not seem restful until you recognize that Jesus says, come, follow me, walk with me, take my yoke upon you because I will carry the weight of your burdens and when I carry the weight of your problems, you will carry the peace that I give you and in that piece you will find rest for your souls. So don't look for an escape from the world. Instead look for the equipment jesus gives you to handle and manage your anxiety. So let's lay on the plane if you remember that. Our main idea for today is that calming the anxiety within you will help you care for the people around you. My guess is that not only are you trying to lead yourself, but you are responsible? Maybe it's in your workplace or in your friend group or in your family to bring encouragement to other people as well. And so what I wanna do right now is I want to share with you the A. B. CS to handling anxiety. This is where we take the biblical truths we just shared and put it in practical terms for you to apply this week. So, first for the A. B. CS of handling anxiety is to acknowledge what you're really seeking. What are your physical activators. Is it a spinning mind racing hard or really a tightening of the gut. Can you recognize what's going on in that moment? Enough to where you can pause and reflect, Okay? You know what, I don't actually need that. I don't actually need to be in control. I don't need every single person to like me. I don't even need to be right in this instance because I'm not just God's employee, I'm God's child and God has me. So when you acknowledge what you're really seeking and you notice what are your triggers, we were able to take a moment. But you know what? It's it's it's really not personal. And yes, this relationship didn't go the way I wanted, but maybe that's just setting me up for the relationship that I really need. Or maybe I'm recognizing I'm learning that the things that the world has to offer will not add to my meaning in my life. Instead when I seek the kingdom, when I seek after God, I'm no longer be taken captive by the world's teachings. But rather I'm being transformed by the renewal of my mind and that when my mind is transformed, I am free in the spirit of God. So first things is acknowledge what you're really seeking. I found that when you speak it out loud or you write it down? It loses grip and power over you, it takes a situation that you feel like has you in its grip and instead you place it in your palms and now you are allowed to get a grip or handle on the situation. Next I want to challenge you to be where your feet are. That's just kind of a fun way of saying to be present this week, if you're starting online school with your kids, just know that there's gonna be a lot of uncertainty and a little bit of chaos thrown in. So what you can do is that you can't control covid 19, you can't control exactly what the school districts are throwing at you. But you can be present with your kid to help him log into the computer, you can be present in your business meeting to contribute, where you are needed. So wherever you find your feet be there, if you're home, be home, be present, put your phone on silent and respond to the people in front of you because what you might not know is that this time at home with your kiddos might change your relationship. It might be something they remember forever. Or maybe when you pivot as a business or in the workplace, that maybe this is a setup for what God has before you. So wherever you find yourself, don't think you have to control every situation, but instead choose to be present wherever your feet are, be there with your mind as well. And then the last thing I want to encourage you to do is to commit your thoughts to God. Don't be taken captive by social media or the news or the worries of an unknown future. Instead take your thoughts captive by the renewal of your mind by listening to worship music by spending time in prayer by reading the words of God. A secular practice of mindfulness can be pretty beneficial when you pause and meditate and become present with where you are. But I want to encourage you to take that one step further and and give you God mindfulness in other words, are you aware that God is with you right now? Because when you do that, you can actually do what's called differentiated leadership. This is a term where someone can walk into the room and offer calm presence just like COVID-19 is contagious and spreading all over the world, anxiety is contagious. And if you've been in a room with an anxious person, I guarantee you felt a little bit more anxious to. So instead of adding to the anxiety in your home or in the workplace, choose to have a calling presence by committing your thoughts to God. If you're enmeshed in the situation, you're going to be anxious, I've said this before to our church family. But imagine if you called 911, what if the voice on the other side of that phone call was just as freaked out as you were. That would not be comforting, would it? Well, in the same way you can have the calm voice on the other side of somebody's phone call because you know that God is in control. If you're investing the situation, you might be anxious. If you're detached from the situation, you won't show empathy. So instead choose to take a step into someone's pain, acknowledge where they are and how they feel and then encourage them that God is present with them in this moment. So you have acknowledged what you're really seeking. Speak it right? It don't give it power instead of get grip on the situation by acknowledging how you really feel next be present by deciding to be fully engaged where you find yourself at home in the conversation with your family members or friends or on a zoom call for work wherever you find yourself, choose to be present and last commit your thoughts to God seek first his kingdom. Don't let the world captivates you, but instead let your mind be transformed by his word and that you're gonna see that your anxiety level will come down. So in closing, I want to encourage you with this church family now is the time to step up. If you're watching this and you don't call yourself a christian, you can just kind of listen in and kind of listen in on a family meeting. But right now I'm speaking specifically to those who watch and are directly a part of the Mission Grove family. One of the things that I've seen recently about sports is that they've had to remove all the fans and so that many of major sports are being played with only the players, the coaches and the personnel, well, just as in sports right now, there is no room for fans right now in our community, in our culture, there is no room for church fans. I need everybody watching this right now to decide to move from fan to player or maybe a personnel or coach to help somebody else get in the game because we really are in this together and in a dark world, our world needs light more than anything and that is the light of jesus and that's the light inside of you and inside of me. And so if we can calm our anxieties, we can care for people and we can do it because everyone is in this together. So I want to challenge you get in the game, there's no time for fans in the stands, but there is time for christians to play the game, to live out their lives on missions to show and share and serve people with the love of jesus, so that when they're looking around, we don't, we don't say that church is something that you go to but a family to belong to and we are the church and every conversation in online school, in your workplace, in the community with your neighbors now is the chance for you to get in the game. Let's pray together and let's do this church, we are in this God is alive, God is moving. God is holding our future and whatever anxious feelings you're having right now, I want to encourage you that God is with you. God is for you and I am for you. And so let me pray for us right now. Dear Heavenly Father. We know that we live in anxious times, but we also know that when we can calm the anxiety within us, we can care for the people around us. So let us remember that we don't need to escape reality because you have equipped us to handle our anxieties and to make an eternal difference. Now is not the time for fans in the stands, but we need everybody on the field in play, making a difference for your kingdom. May we bring your light and your love and your blessing into online school, into our family conversations in the morning and at night in our workplace and in our communities. God. Now, more than ever, when we recognize that everyone together, we need you. Thank you for saving us. Thank you for loving us. Thank you for taking our anxious thoughts and then giving us an easy yoke because you've taken the weight of our burdens upon you so that we can live free and with peace and with joy