well, my wife and I actually, when we started dating or one of our earliest fights uh was over a scrabble game, believe it or not, but if you know myself and you know Samantha, you know that we're too competitive people. And so uh it may or may not have landed that on my last turn. I added an E. R. To a word for triple word to beat heard by one point, not that I'm gonna bring that up publicly, but in front of all of you, you should know that I did win that match. Um but so she's beat me plenty of time so that I have to bring that up. So we love playing this game. It's a word based game where you know, you score points based off of what words you can form. And the reason I am having these pieces out spread out is because I want to tell you about this really crazy guy named Nigel Richards. Nigel Richards is a world scrabble champion. And in 2015 he actually won the French national a scrabble championship. Now to be a national champion in anything is impressive. But what's crazy is he won the french scrabble championship without speaking a word of french. He doesn't know the language, he can't speak it, but rather spend nine months memorizing 400,000 French words. And so he won the scrabble championship without actually knowing what any of the words meant. He just memorized the words themselves. And so here's my fear, here's my fear is that in the same way as Nigel learned the words, but didn't know what they meant? I wonder if there are christian concepts and christian words that we say every day, but do we actually know what they mean? And so what I want you to do with this scrabble piece, I want you to take it, just put it in your pocket or keep it with you somewhere as a reminder this week to ask yourself the question, do we know what the christian world, do we know the concept that we talked about? Do we know what they mean? And just for fun? Um if you're if you haven't been paying attention yet, here's what we'll do is that I'm just gonna pick some random letters. They want some of the more rare letters out there. If you happen to have the letters will say X, Q, W. J and K. If you happen to have those, We're gonna give you a $5 gift card to Saddle Creek. So that's kind of fun. So if you have those letters just stopped by the guest services. Oh now now you guys are paying attention. So if you have again J. K. Q. X. Or w you can get a $5 gift card to Saddle Creek to stop by the guest services table on your way out. But we want you to keep these scrabble pieces and just ask ourselves the questions are we just saying words or do we actually know what they mean? And specifically this morning we're going to talk about a topic that is known all across the world and we say these words all the time, but what does love actually mean? Especially in english, we struggle with this and other cultures, they have different words for different kinds of love, but in America, but we were just simplified, but we say like I love you like to, to our spouses and to our kids, but then we also say I love chipotle, so like we, we equate the two and I mean it's, it's up there, but it shouldn't be quite the same, but like, so we say the word love, I think way too often, but what does it actually mean at the, at the court, what does it mean to truly love someone and specifically, what does it mean to love someone the way that jesus loved us, we've been walking through this series called prove it, where we've been discussing over the last several weeks, the tension that exists between what people they believe and then how they actually live. Well we're gonna dive into really what I what I think is one of the strongest passages in all of the bible on the topic of love. I say that because in just these few verses that we're reading, You're gonna see the word love 27 times 27 times in one passage, in fact, John is known as the Apostle of Love, He was, we've talked previously about how he was known before Jesus, the son of Thunder, but then became the apostle or the disciple whom Jesus loved and then he became the apostle of love. And we can say that because in the new testament, the word love is used 235 times, John uses them 72 out of those times. So in his letters, in all of the New Testament, john uses a third of the uses of the word love. In fact, in the gospel of john, he uses the word love more than Matthew, Mark and luke combined. So why is that? Well, the first couple gospels, Matthew Mark, luke, john are Matthew, Mark and luke are known as the synoptic gospels or synopsis of it. And it describes the narrative of what Jesus did now. There are great phrases in the synoptic gospels like Jesus came to seek and save the lost like luke 19 or Mark 10 45 that Jesus did not come to be served, but to serve. But primarily the story of Jesus has found in the first three gospels, known as the synoptic gospels. Well, john, his gospel is written a little bit later and ultimately is actually describes why Jesus came and so the first couple talk about the life of Jesus from a different perspective in each one, some of the stories overlap and then john comes in and says, this is why Jesus came specifically, it says that he came to be known as the son of God, who that by believing in his name, you can have eternal life. And so he he writes the stories and the miracles of jesus and the dialogues of jesus in a way that that highlights and promotes and emphasizes the fact that jesus came to demonstrate love for you and for me. So if you have your bibles open up the first John Chapter four, but if you're taking notes, I want you to write this down. That if if you don't get anything out of this morning's message, except for this one point, I want you to understand this is that we must regularly ask ourselves what does love require? What does love require? I first heard this phrasing of it from pastor Andy Stanley, but it really sticks out. And what I love about this concept is that rather than give 100 things to focus on 100 rules and commands to follow, just understand and the clarity and the simplicity, but the wholeness that that comes from this phrase, what does love require, and then specifically it's what does love require of me. So when faced with a decision, when you are in a difficult circumstance or you're in a relationship or you're trying to communicate with with with spouse kids, coworkers, friends if you can answer the question honestly of what does love require of me, then I believe your relationships will get stronger, healthier and better And we see that coming directly out of this passage. So we highlighted the word love, you're just gonna see it over and over again. So we're gonna read straight through it, starting in verse seven of chapter four, and then we're gonna come back and break down this question of what does love require and what does that look like and how do we love people, the way that jesus loved us? And if you do not have a bible, we'll have the verses on the screen. But I also want to encourage you that we have a free bible for you at our guest services table that we'd love to gift to give to you this morning. So let's go ahead and jump into it first, john chapter four verse seven and if you've missed the first couple of weeks, john here is about 100 years old, he's the last living disciple, he was the closest person to jesus and in some of his last words, he leaves with this. So you're gonna hear this wording of beloved and Children, because it's like that sweet old grandpa that wants to tell you about life for the good old days and what he wants you to remember. So that's the framing of what he says here, starting in verse seven, Let us love one another for love is from God and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God, anyone who does not love does not know God because God is love. We'll pause there for a moment. This is such a huge phrase here because he's not just seen Love is God. He's saying God is love, meaning that God is a lot more than love. He's described in other places as spirit as as light as truth, as holy, as merciful as provider. So he's got a lot of names and attributes, but one of his main characteristics is love and the fact that God is love, it means that God defines love. One of the buzz phrases in our culture today is love is love and it's so close. But you can't just say love is love because there's no basis for it and it becomes subjective and so you can decide what you want, how you want when you want it as opposed to a foundational life, giving healthy scenario and foundation for the truth that is love. And so this is one of the best verses to highlight when you're having a conversation with someone because you have to understand that God himself defines what love is. It's not love is love. It's God is love and that's actually a very crucial and critical difference. So what does it look like? We continue on the verse nine in this, the love of God has made manifest among us, that God sent his only son into the world so that we might live in this love. Not that we have loved God, but that he loved us and sent his son to be appreciation for our sins. It's a fancy word for payment, beloved if God so loved us, we ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God. If we love one another, God abides in us and his love is perfected in us by this, we know that we abide in him and he and us because he has given us his spirit and we have seen and testify that the father has sent his son to be the savior of the world. Whoever confesses that jesus is the son of God, God abides in him and he in God come to know and to believe that the love that God has for us. God is love there it is again. And whoever abides in love abides in God and God abides in him by this is love perfected in us. So that we may have confidence for the day of judgment, because as he is so also are we in this world, there is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear for fear has to do with punishment. And whoever fears has not been perfected in love. We love because he first loved us, and if anyone says, I love God and hates his brother, he is a liar for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love the God whom he has not seen. And this is his commandment that we have from him. Whoever loves God must also love his brother. There's a lot of love in the room, right there, a lot of love in that passage. But what does it mean? There's a lot of key phrases in there, But I want to highlight specifically there in verse eight and 9, that it says that God sent his son so that we could have life and so that he would be a payment or the pra pri she a shin for our sins. And so there's a sacrifice involved. So that in another place that says, there's Paul, writes in second Corinthians chapter five, he says he who knew no sin became sin so that we could become righteous. So, there's an exchange going on, jesus takes on our sin. We take on his righteousness or his blessing or his authority or his reign. And so in this exchange, we have forgiveness and we have life. Last week, we talked about how loving God and love in general is a matter of life and death. That when you bring into your relationships, what you say, your attitudes and your actions that you are bringing life into a situation or you're bringing death into a situation. An example is bitterness. No one has ever brought bitterness into a relationship, and you thought man, I feel so much better. I'm so glad that you are angry. Thank you so much for lying about me. I'm so glad that you're complaining about everything that's really helped me out a lot, right? So there's this idea of life and death. It's like what are you bringing into it? Encouragement, strength, forgiveness. And we see this picture that comes of life coming through. Love found in jesus. See when we carry sin with us and we just call it love. What we don't realize is that it's secretly eating this up on the inside. That's why it's important for God to define love. Think of it this way, imagine somebody stealing uh, you know material from a medical center that has radiation in it. And so then the police goes to the doctor and says, okay, what do you want us to do? You know you want to file a complaint and imagine the doctor saying pay. Please warden the thief that he's carrying death with him. That the radiation that comes from the material he stole. He can hide it but it will secretly be eating him up inside. And that's what happens when we carry sin. When we carry these burdens and we try to hide it from the world. We try to hide what we're doing and we call it love or we call it this or that. And we say, well we can decide. We know what's truth. We know what's life is that what happens is our choices secretly eat us up on the inside and that sin never strengthens a relationship. It always destroys. and and tears down think through in terms of lying, pride gossip. These are things that break relationships apart and these are things that are rooted in selfishness and in pride and in and in sin. But the love that jesus gives the life giving love as God defines. It ultimately leads to life and better and stronger relationships. So what does love truly look like? Well love authenticates authenticates your relationship with God. It's the confirmation code. Have you ever tried to log in maybe your bank account or something else on a computer? And then it says we need to send a confirmation code to your phone and then you have to type in the code. Why do they do that? Because they want to verify that you are who you say you are in the same way when someone claims to be of God, how they treat somebody else is the authentic authentic authentication of that the verification and confirmation of their belief in God. So your love for people the way you treat people should confirm your belief in God, God is love and we are created in his image. So bob Gough puts it this way, therefore we are becoming love. I love that picture. The idea of becoming more like jesus means we are becoming love, we are becoming more loving in our relationships and how we speak and how we act and our attitudes and how we serve? So when you ask yourself the question, what does love require of me? Can you honestly say that you were becoming more loving than you were last week, last month or last year? Or do you find yourself getting more cynical? Do you find yourself getting Distrusting of others? Maybe one person burned you and then a new person comes into your life and we project that last relationship on the new relationship they're going to leave. Alright, I can't trust them, they're gonna lie. And we take our past hurts into our present relationships and it doesn't lead to future blessing. But when we recognize that God is love and then we ask ourselves, what then does love require of me? And we become more like jesus than our relationships grow and we get stronger and better. But let's let's get super practical because I know this is just a very abstract concept and you hear love all the time and you hear it in pop songs and you see it on nice plates and blankets and framed quotes and and on wooden frames and all these things. But what does it actually mean? What does it look like? How can we love people? The way jesus loved us. I believe that this passage actually gives us seven pictures of what that looks like. Now, my goal for you is not to necessarily memorize all seven, but think of it almost like a gumball machine, you guys, you guys as kids remember how excited you were to get, go to a gumball machine, you would, you would go and put in the corner and you would turn it and you would just let you couldn't wait for that gumball. Um, just real quick to your neighbor, just say, what is your favorite flavor or color of gumball? Go go ahead to your neighbor and say favorite color of gumball. If anyone says yellow, there's some awesome churches down the street. Um, personally, I'm a pink gumball, maybe blue. Third place for me is probably the white gumball that comes in, right? What exactly flavor is that? I don't know, but it tastes delicious for the five seconds ahead of gumball last, but you know what I mean by a gumball machine is that you have all of these things in here and then something pops out. And so we're gonna look at seven descriptions of love according to jesus from this passage, and so it might not, you might not remember all seven, but I want you to try to remember one, pick one that sticks out to you, pick one that like, man, I really need that, pick one that's going to apply to your working relationship or the conversation you need to have this week, whatever it is, I want you to take what God defines as love and then think about how can this apply into my relationships this week. The first thing now, if you want to love like jesus or love according to jesus is that love expresses love expresses In verse nine, it said that God made manifest in other words he revealed or made public, it was publicly announced and declared. Now why is it important to know that true love is love expressed? Because love felt but never expressed is the same result as if you never loved in the first place. Think about in practical terms, this is the month of thanksgiving, it does no good to feel grateful, right? It only has an impact when you express gratitude, whether that's through a note or gift serving or talking, feeling grateful does nothing for the person that you feel grateful for. They always say, well it's the thought that counts not true, it's not because you can't go to a birthday party like hey, I thought about getting a gift for you, it doesn't work right? Otherwise christmas shopping done gratitude not expressed is the same thing as gratitude. Like never felt because the other person doesn't know, they don't know what you're thinking, they don't know. And the same way jesus did not just sit up in heaven said, I feel it, I love you for God, so loved the world that he felt it, this is important because when we describe love as a feeling feelings change and love is truly love when it is expressed God so loved the world that he gave and John Chapter one, it says in the beginning was the word and ultimately it says and the word became flesh in other words, Jesus came down and then love was manifested in other words God came down and showed us what true love looks like. So the first thing to know that God is love means that true love is love expressed. So think about your relationships, think about where there's a tension point. When's the last time you expressed gratitude for that relationship? Could there be a small expression this week for that friend? That family member, that coworker that neighbor, because jesus didn't wait for us to come to him. But Jesus came to us and love was manifested in the person of Jesus 2ndly, if we want to love like jesus, we have to know that love makes the first move, Love makes the first move, verse 10, it says it's not that we loved God but that he loved us, Romans 5 8 says while we were still sinners christ died for us, he did not give because he needed something from us. He gave because he loved us and he wanted us. Do you enter the relationships waiting for somebody else to make the first move? If there is a gap if there's Brokenness maybe at work or or or in in a in a relationship, are you waiting for that person to speak up first? Are you quietly building up your vocabulary nuclear weapons of like in case this ever comes up, I'm here. And then if if if they do a peace offering first okay weapons down. But if they attack, I'm ready to go, well let's just get real if you're dating or or have a close friendship relationship. You know this happens for when something comes up and all of a sudden the previous year of mistakes all comes out at once. You know what I'm talking about? Do you know someone who does this and if you're not not in your head, maybe you are that person. Um so you're not you're not sure if you can laugh because the person next to you. So I get it. That's okay. We're not talking about them. Okay you're safe. But you know what? Here's, here's what we're talking about the right like when you get in an argument and you have a relationship and say, oh yeah well you boom boom boom boom. And you just attack attack attack and we bring up all the previous hurts ever. So you're quiet because it happens, doesn't it? But see true love makes the first move that means that when you're in an argument maybe percentage wise it's only 10% your fault. That means own the 10% Instead of focusing on their nine or 90%. Yeah I can do math. Um 90 Focus on the 10% that you own 50 point, whatever it is, whatever is your fault own that express that. Okay if you if you, I remember just kind of a fun time when Sam and I were starting to date and I called her up and we were moving from the friend zone into the dating zone and I didn't know how to do that and I called her up and was trying to have a conversation and she finally called me out on it and it was just like, are you asking me out on a date? I did such a bad job. She had to clarify if my asking was actually leading to a date and so I stumbled all over my words, but nothing happened until I finally made the move, made the phone call and reached out in the same way Love does not wait for the other person. Love makes the first move. God loved us. It's not that we loved God, but that God loved us, love is expressed, Love makes the first move. The next thing is that love sacrifices for the benefit of others. I can't think of a better weekend to talk about this than veterans Day for those who put their life on the line so that we could freely gather here today. That's what love is, Love is sacrificing for the benefit of others. Now, when you start to put these together, this is a lot different than how culture describes love isn't it? Love is expressed. Love makes the first move. Love sacrifices to benefit others, our world that all the ads you're gonna see on tv is love is jewelry, love is this love is how you feel, do what feels right, love is love, love is in the air, whatever you feel is great. He says, no god is love and true, healthy relationships are centered when love is expressed when you make the first move and that first move is actually one of sacrifice. You're not moving so you can gain the upper hand, but rather you're moving to be a servant and to serve the needs and meet the needs of other people around you. The next one here is that love abides dwells with and is present. The word abiding is this idea of remaining connected. The same author wrote John 15 which he says that we are the branches and Jesus himself is the vine that we are connected in relationships. It's about spending one on one time with them last last night I had fun um just with my Middle Son Carter and we were just having fun in stores and we got yelled at for writing scooters through the store so don't do that. It's not, it's that okay, I'm not gonna lie, it was super fun. It was awesome carter just cruising through the store and and we got you all that and then we kind of like okay, we'll put it back and then just like hear my seven year old and his smile on his face was amazing, but the most important thing was in that moment is that we were just present together, right? I put myself in the same category. But one of the things that we need to learn as a culture is to actually put the phone down. Have you seen images of people um, that were, they photoshopped out the phone and how creative looks. Sometimes they do that. There will be people in restaurants and, and everyone's heads are down or in a park. Everyone's heads are down. Part of loving someone is to dwell with, to be present to buy to, to connect with God, but also with each other and that's to be present with each other. The best thing you can do as a parent for a child. The best thing you can do for that spouse, that boyfriend and girlfriend is to have presents with them and have time and conversation and experience side by side, Amen and God wants that for you and he wants that with you. He wants you to abide in him and him and you. And so theology is not just some words on a page, but rather it is life giving love that changes your everyday experience. So it's not about just knowing things about God, but truly knowing him. I was at a pastors conference uh, this week and, and, and church leaders conference and it was a lot of fun and one of the pastors said this said love has the speed and it's slower than you are, I have a type of personality where I'm always like, we gotta go, we gotta go, we gotta do the next thing. Next thing, next thing we gotta go, we gotta go. And isn't it interesting that that love always seems to go slower then the moment you're in and that's because there is value in slowing down for presence and abiding and experiencing. So you see true love and we can love like jesus that really when we express it, when we make the first move and that first move is one of sacrifice and then we abide and we dwell with God. But then also with others. The next thing is that true love loving people like God does love puts God on display? You don't have to show of hands. But does anyone already have their christmas decorations up? If not you're thinking about it, you're waiting to where it's socially acceptable by other family members, christmas music. Some of it's already on the radio. That's great and we love that. And stores have switched over. They have the big store display. Here's a question for you that if if your life was a store, what would be the main display? If someone walked into the store of your life, what would be on display based on where you spend your money, where you spend your time, what you think about what would be on display in the store of you, would it be front and center or to be tucked in the corner, your relationship with, we share what we love and so if you want to become better at sharing your faith, fall more and more in love with jesus because the more you love him, the easier it becomes to talk about and true love puts God on display and they say, well, okay, john that's cool. But let me ask you this about this question. Like if you're not putting God on display then who's on display? Well culture is going to tell you you are, but when you love people in a way of sacrifice, just the way you guys have been doing with our multiply the blessing campaign. If you just came in to church in the last couple of weeks, a month ago, we gave out cash and we challenged people to love and bless people in their community and the stories that have come in where people have bought the meal for the person behind them, where they've made blankets for the homeless where we had a child, send it to an orphan in africa and write a letter. We've had somebody who bought food for the person in the restaurant or delivered meals to a single mom or made a surprise gift baskets for the new neighbors in the neighborhood. When you go and you put that out there when you love people with seemingly no motive other than to show them God's love. That puts God on display. Like I shared the story last week of someone in our congregation who late at night, someone saw someone pulled on the side of the road and they had run out of gas and not only did they pushed their car to the side of the road, they took them to the gas station, filled up the gas pale or whatever, the portable one went back filled up, got them back to the gas station and took care of that person pretty much in the middle of the night. And at the end of it, they said, do you believe in God? And 1st Peter, he says living away to be prepared to defend what you believe in other words. Does your life beg the question that you're different at your workplace? Can people see your work ethic, your honesty, your humility, how you serve and love people? Does does it, does it speak in a way they're like man, everyone else wants to go home early, but yet you go the extra mile, Everyone else seems to get something or want something for themselves, but you continually give for others. Where does that come from when you love people? Well, it puts God on display the last or two more here. Is that the next thing is that true love casts out fear? Let's think about this here. Social media politics. Um, this very neutral topics, right? Um, would you say that we live in a fear based culture or love based culture, Fear because fear sells right? Everything is the worst, always everything is the worst. If you don't agree with me, you are the worst. And we've created a society where we're completely divided and if you don't think the exact same way as the other person, it's no longer a civil disagreement, it's like, wow, they are evil and we are right as christians. I think there's never been a better time to come in and actually demonstrate unity where people of different political agendas, people of different ethnicities, people of different economic backgrounds can gather together the umbrella and the authority of the love of God and the word of God and that together we see each other as Children of God. That true love is not based on fear but based on love. Are your relationships, do you try to say you better do this or else you better do this or else we're no longer friends or you're not gonna get this for me, You you can't have it and you hang on to it almost like chips, you gotta hang on, he's like, nope, I'm not giving that to you. But when you love people, the way jesus does this idea of casting is the idea of like throwing out um being a nineties kid, I loved all the nineties show. Remember the show. Fresh Prince of Bel air will smith anybody west philadelphia born and raised on the plate. Okay, if you if you started saying that song right now, you and I are friends. Remember the character Jazz. They always did something wrong and what happened, he would get thrown out of the house and I always had this dramatic throwing out of jazz. Well, here's what happens in relationships. Okay, when you have a true loving relationship that's not based on fear, you cast out, you throw fear out of the relationship because it's not based on punishment, but it's based on relationships. And then the last thing here is that love gross, love gross. No one has seen God, but when they see us and they see us loving people that that love is perfected in us. We are becoming more and more like jesus or in short we are becoming love as the band comes on stage. I want you to think through this list and you might not memorize all of it. That's okay. But I want you to pick one thing that you could work on this week. one Thing. Ask yourself the question, what does love require of me and then go and do that. Let's bring dear heavenly father, thank you for loving us. Okay, We did nothing to deserve your love. But you came and you gave your life so that we could love others, let us not be like that scrabble champion who knew the words but knew what none of them meant. And God let us love people the way that you gave your life to us. May our love be expressed. May our love make us make the first move. May we sacrifice to benefit others? God, when we abide with you stay connected and connected with each other? God, when we put you on display, may fear be casted out, be thrown out by our love grow and our relationship with you, rather than getting worked up in tens and thousands of different things and emails and checklists and tasks that we have to do this week that will come. But may the driving question? We ask ourselves in our relationships and everyone that we come in contact is what does love require? May we do that this week as you have done for us? It's in your son's name. We pray. Amen.