Well, today we are launching a new series entitled Friends of Mission Growth. This is where I am introducing you to some of the coaches and mentors in my life. And these are churches that have provided financial support as well as coaching and even people support. As we get started as a young church. We did not plant the church by ourselves, but we partnered with Vision. Arizona and Converge. Vision. Arizona is the local expression of the National organization converge. And one of the leaders of Vision Arizona is Pastor Lynn Winters from Cornerstone Church in Chandler, Arizona. Lynn has over 40 years of pastoral experience and the last 24 of those has been spent leading cornerstone the church which he planted and then they've also assisted and helped over 20 additional church plants get started. So you're gonna listen to a interview I had with Lynn. You're gonna hear a portion of the interview. If you'd like to have the full interview, you can visit our website to learn from his leadership. And then after my brief interview with Lynn, then we're gonna hear one of his messages on the value and wisdom that comes with handling difficult relationships. Make sure you take notes because you're gonna learn a lot. I know I did and I'm excited to share this message with you. Enjoy this message from Pastor Lynn Winters Lynn. Thank you so much for joining us this morning. Uh First off, how are you doing my friend? Ok. I hate being sheltered at home. Uh That's hard for me, but I'm, I'm doing ok. My wife is being driven crazy by me. But, ok, how has uh how has COVID-19 impacted you personally as a leader? But also uh your church? Well, i it's honestly, it's been, it's been hard for me. I'm gonna get it done, go move things forward and it feels like there's been a season of pause. So I've tried to take advantage of that. I've tried to get into the word of God more and spend, you know, sweeter time with him. Uh doing that. Um One of the positives that's come out of it for us is that it forced us to go after the online in a way that we had not done before. And uh right now we're having nearly four times as many people engage with our church as we were before this started. So that's, that's the positive thing that's coming out of it for us. And so we're about to watch together a message from your series called Relationship Vampires to help us get ready for that. Can you share with us what is a relationship vampire. Yeah. So um we've all got people in our lives, right? That just are always needy, always coming to us for help, always needing something in our lives. And when you get to scripture, it can be slightly confusing about how do you respond to those types of people? Because on the one side, scripture is really clear to say, hey, if there's somebody who's hurting, if there's somebody who's broken, then part of how we represent Jesus is to lean in and help those lives. And yet there's also some passages in scripture that say, hey, if somebody's living this way, if somebody behaving like this, then create distance. Don't, don't involve yourself with them because you'll only get dragged down with them. So this sermon in particular was one to say, how do you know the difference? How do you, you know, look and say, hey, wait a minute. This is somebody I'm supposed to be ministering to. Oh, no, no, no, no. This is somebody's scripture says, create healthy boundaries and distance in your life from how do I identify him? And then what does it look like? What does it look like to respond in love or what does it look like to create healthy boundaries with those types of people? So I, I hope it's gonna be a really helpful message uh for your people. Well, I've, I've watched this and I took a lot of notes and if you're about to watch this. You guys are in for a real treat. Uh Just g leaning from the wisdom of Caster Lynn winters. And so thank you so much for joining us today. Thank you so much for continuing your leadership within vision Arizona and helping us to plant more churches here in the valley. Thank you, John. Thank you. Have a great day. Hey, Cornerstone, how are you guys doing? All right, super glad that you're here. I think, I hope when you walk out, you'll be super glad you were here. Uh We're starting a brand new series. It's called Relationship Vampires. And here's why this, this is a conversation that man, I, I just wish somebody had had this with me years and years and years ago. It have been so helpful in my life because here's the deal. We've all got them, right? We've all got people that you just go, man being in the room with them. I mean, when they show up at the family dinner, I wish they weren't family, right? I mean, we all have those people in our lives that you just go being around you just so detracts from me. It, it costs me something. It wears me out to be around you. How many times, how many times are you gonna make the same mistake and ask for help? And, and we've all got relationship vampires. You've got them in your past. There's a really good chance you've got them right now that if, if I said name a name, you'd go, oh, I can tell you one. Right. But here's what I can just about guarantee all of us you will have one in the future. So this is a really, really life changing life altering conversation. I'm just gonna encourage you to be here all uh six weeks. Here's the thing. If we're just really, really honest, this topic is kind of confusing because there's moments in scripture in which scripture seems to say, hey, if you run into somebody that's broken or confused or screwed up or messed up, then your Christian duty, your Christian thing to do is you should help them, right? Which means you and I would be involved with every relationship vampire on earth. There are other verses that seem to say no, no, wait, wait, wait, when you run into this type of person, when, when you come up against somebody who has decided keep your distance, uh create some healthy boundaries in your life. And the big question comes, how do you know when to do each one? So think about it. Jesus tells a parable. The parable he tells is about a man who's traveling down the road. He's probably a businessman and he's headed off to see a client on his way down the road. He's absconded by thieves who strip him naked, steal all of his money, beat him up severely enough that he can no longer even walk down the road, he's laying in a ditch, pleading with the people who walk by. Will you help me? Jesus says, a pastor goes walking by, sees his fellow Jew in the ditch and his response is to move to the opposite side of the road to walk as far away from he can from his brother in need. Think about that and walked by as if he didn't see him. Jesus says, then a church goer walking down the same road sees his brother in need does the same thing. The pastor just right on by the third person. Jesus says was a Samaritan, which is a big deal because the man in the ditch is a Jew. The Samaritans and the Jews had been in constant uh conflict. If there was ever a guy who had a reason to ignore the man in the ditch, it was the Samaritan and yet Jesus, as this man seen his brother in a ditch, bandages, his wounds, puts him on his donkey. Takes him to an inn says to the innkeeper, call a doctor. I'll pay the medical bills. You keep him here, I'll pay for his room, I'll pay for his food until he's healthy enough to travel. When I come back this way, if his bill is bigger than the money that I've already given to you, I'll pay the rest. And Jesus in that moment says that man, that man was truly a brother. He was Christ like in that moment. So then you and I, as Christians feel compelled to go, well, I, I guess that's what you do, I guess on any moment and when you see somebody who's broken and in need and hurting, I guess the Christian thing, the Christ like thing to do is you help everybody. But here's the interesting thing. As you read more scripture, you find that over and over and over again in scripture, scripture actually says to you and me, hey, whoa whoa whoa. When you see a person behaving this way, when you see a person bent on living in a reckless life, you need to create healthy boundaries, healthy barriers, you need to create distance between you and that behavior that they have. You. You've got to make sure that they're not wrapped up in your life, which would be right? Just the opposite of the good Samaritan. A matter of fact, when you came walking in, uh you, hopefully you grabbed one of these off the back table. It's a fob you can put in your key ring. It's got a memory verse on it. And if you remember earlier this year, we said, look, we're gonna start hiding God's word in our heart so that we learn it, right? For those really, really tough moments in our lives. This is one of those verses. So you want to take this, you're gonna wanna learn it. You're gonna like this one because you can beat people up with this one. No, I'm teasing. All right. But here's the verse we ready for this. It's one that says, hey, separate yourself from somebody who's behaving like this. Here's what it says. Better think about this. Better to meet a mama bear who's been robbed of her cubs than to meet a fool bent on folly. Now you get what it's saying, it's saying, look, look, this is a big deal. If you meet a fool who is bent and bent just means committed to. There's a fool who's committed to their folly. I'm just gonna do it no matter what it says, you would be better off meeting a she bear robbed of her cubs than to align your life or hang out with that fool. Here's my bear story. So years ago, I'm off at camp, I've got uh 35 teenagers staying in a cabin with me at summer camp. Uh It comes nighttime, it's time to go to bed. All of a sudden, one of my counselors and one of my kids come running toward the cabin like eight year old little girls. What had happened is they've been out talking about Jesus and all of a sudden a bear came walking up on him. So now they've come back to the cabin, right? And in the cabin, we're all like freaked out. We're like there's a bear somewhere in proximity to the cabin. So the decision was made, we're gonna close all the doors, we're gonna close all the windows. We pushed a couple of things in front of the doors. This was a good idea except for the fact that there are 35 teenage boys in the cabin with the windows closed and the doors locked. Now, despite the o that then ensued, the cabin begins to heat up. So now it's about two o'clock in the morning and I am awoke into here and sure enough, one of the kids threw up on the floor. Well, if you're the cabin counselor in a cabin with 35 high school kids and someone throws up on the floor, what do you do? You gotta clean it up. Well, what do you got in the cabin? So eventually I had to get my towel, the towel. I was planning to bathe with the rest of the week and now I'm down here on the floor, wiping up some kid's vomit. One of the reasons I got out of Youth Ministry by the way. So the problem is now the cabin smells horrifying. We decide that it's been long enough. The bear is surely gone. So we open up our windows, we open up all the doors to air out the cabin. I go back to sleep about an hour later. I hear the claws of a bear walking on the wood floor inside our cabin. I get out of bed. I start looking for something to hit the bear with because that's what you do. If you have a bear in your cabin, you hit him. Right. I, I get down on my bunk. I have to go. It's actually in the adjoining room. So I have to go around the corner. I flip on the light switch and in that moment, huge humongous things, things monstrously, big things. And also the biggest raccoon I've ever seen in my life. This thing had come into our cabin. He was dragging the goldfish crackers from one of the kids out of the cabin. Here was my response. Dude. The crackers are yours just I mean, I can take on a raccoon right. Here's why I tell you that story. If I'm smart enough to say, I'm not gonna take on a rabid raccoon. I am surely, Shirley, surely Shirley surely not gonna take on a she bear who lost her cubs and scripture just said to you, you find a fool in their folly. Stay away, stay away, stay away. You create as much distance as you can. You put up good and healthy barriers. So think about this good Samaritan moment. She bear moment. How do you know, how do you know when that relational vampire should be treated like a brother? She bet. So here's what we're gonna do together. We're gonna go through two filters from scripture and these filters are gonna help us figure out good Samaritan moment. Should I be leaning in? Should I be investing my life in this person, even if it's uncomfortable and even if it takes some of my time and should I be leaning in Good Samaritan moment? Should I be creating healthy barriers and distance? Should I be staying and avoiding doing life with this person? Because it's a she bear moment. Ok. Two filters. Here's what I want you to do. I want you to think of a relational vampire in your life. If it's someone right now, that's totally cool. If it's somebody right now don't say their name out loud, especially if they're in church with you right now. But think about that person. If it's someone from your past, that's OK. But I want you to get a clear, clear, clear image of somebody. You go. No, no, no, no. Beyond a shadow of a doubt relational vampire. And here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna take that person, you and me through the filters and all of a sudden we're gonna come out the other side and go. Oh my goodness. That's exactly, that's exactly what I should have done. That's exactly what I should be doing with that person in my life right now. OK. Here we go. Filter. Number one actually comes out of the book of Proverbs. If you're not familiar, the book of Proverbs is actually written by the wisest man who ever walked the face of the earth. He's the guy by the name of Solomon and Solomon is gonna help you and I find a place, find a type for three types of individuals that are all in that relational vampire category. The cool part is he's also gonna process to say, is this a lean in good Samaritan moment? Is this instead a lean out, create distance she bear type of person in my life? OK. So the first, the first category that Solomon gives you and me are the naive. Sometimes he calls them the simple. OK? And, and what you need to know about them is that the reason they're naive or the reason they're simple is, is, it's not because they're dumb or because they're stupid. It, it's because they just simply haven't experienced enough life yet. They, they haven't run into enough situations. They haven't felt enough consequences to now know, hey, that's how that turns out and therefore they think, hey, I can do that and it's not gonna cause me a problem. Matter of fact, if you try to talk to somebody who's naive, chances are they're gonna think you're overreacting, they're gonna go, what, what, why are you Maple? It's not that big a deal. It'll never be that bad. An example of this. You ready? An example of this is a 15 year old daughter who has her first date with that guy. The guy that, the moment you met him, dad, you went, oh my goodness. And you knew, you knew this guy had one thing in mind. It was how to get underneath her clothing that he was going to be willing to say anything he had to say to manipulate her heart. And then the minute he got what he wanted, he was gonna move on because he got a notch in his belt. And so now your daughter comes home from that first date and you say to her Lonie, look of all the guys, of all the guys, why would, why would you pick him? Do you understand? He's got one thing on his mind. I mean, his goal is to get you better. That's, that's it. And then the moment he does, he's gonna be, you could be left and alone and pregnant and then she goes pregnant pregnant. Dad, we talk, it was just a date. Why are you overreacting? This is why credit card companies send credit cards to freshmen in college because they're naive enough to fill out the form and you, and I want to say to that freshman, look, guys, guys, you're already racking up over the next four years. You're gonna rack up so much school debt and now you're gonna get a credit card at 24% interest and chances are you're gonna buy pizza, you, you're gonna buy pizza and max that card out and, and you, you, you're gonna, you're gonna be so you don't even have a job. What do you need a credit card for? Right. And, and they, they would say look, it's only $2000. You're overreacting if I've said something and, uh, you're in the room and you go, man, you know, it feels a little bit like you're talking about me. I'm not trying to insult you. You need to hear this. I'm simply saying the reason you think the rest of us are being a little bit silly. It's because you just haven't lived enough life yet to know you've never been a single mom. It's why you don't think it's a big deal. You've never been so far down in the darkness and despair of financial ruin and looking and saying, I have no idea how to ever dig my way out of this. That's why it doesn't seem like a big deal because you're naive. Here's the other thing. You can be 40 years old and be naive. See, especially if you come to faith halfway recently. You know, if or maybe you came to faith and you've never done anything about it. So you're still young in your faith. Then I can already tell you you're naive because I'm just telling you, you haven't experienced enough Jesus yet to know. It's the reason you can go. Oh, you know, I know the Bible says that, but the Bible is overreacting. I'm just telling Britt for this. That's naive and you're gonna find, you're gonna find life experience will teach you that every time you in the Bible disagree, guess who's wrong and the only reason you can think, think you can do that and it won't be a big deal is because you're naive. So, here's my question, the person on your list, the person who sucks the energy out of you, the person who's so hard to have in the room, do they belong in this chair? Are they simply naive? And that's what's going on. They just haven't, they haven't experienced enough, they don't know enough yet to know that they don't know. And here's what Solomon says. Any time you run into the naive, it is always, always, always, always, always, always a good Samaritan moment. It is always a moment to lean in and try to help even though they don't listen. Well, even though, even though they, they blow you off, it is always, always, always a good Samaritan assignment. God brought them into your life hoping that your influence would be helpful. Matter of fact, grab your Bibles, go with me to the book of Proverbs. If you're not familiar, if you go to the send of your Bible, you're probably gonna find the book of Psalms. Go a little bit to the right. You're gonna find this book of Proverbs. This is what Solomon says about the naive. It's Proverbs chapter nine starting in verse one and guys just wanna say, boy, get your thumbs ready. We're gonna look at a lot of verses together. Proverbs chapter nine starting in verse one. Here's what it says wisdom. Ok. Wisdom. He, he personifies wisdom. He makes wisdom a person. He says, wisdom has built her house. She has set up seven pillars. She's prepared her meal, her meat and mixed her wine. She has also set her table. She has sent out her servants and she calls come all you who are simple, naive, come all of you to my house. And he says, here, here's the deal. When you run into someone who's night, the answer ought to be, hey, come on, come, I'll spend time with you. I'll be patient with you. I'll watch you make your mistakes and then I'll hook you up. This is always, always, always, always ready. A good Samaritan moment. There's a second type of person that Solomon introduces us to. Solomon calls him the fool. Here's what the fool says. I, I know. No, I, I know. I know. I know. I know. It's probably not a wise idea. I know. I know. I know. I know. It's probably, I know it's probably wrong. I know I'm gonna do it anyways. See, the fool would say no, I, I get it. I get that there's probably a consequence for doing this or, or maybe there's some sort of kick back or fallout for, you know, I get it, but I'm pretty confident that I'm gonna be able to avoid it. I, it, it, it, it's not gonna catch me and if it does, I'm gonna be able to minimize it. So I know. I know. I know. I know. I know, but I'm gonna do it anyways. It's the words of a fall. This is the husband who's so set on success and they're just absolutely pouring every extra hour, every extra moment into work. Just trying to move that little bit of a nudge up the corporate ladder. And you go to him and you say, hey, do you understand what's happening while you're investing all that time away from home? Do, do you, do you realize that the heart of your wife is shrinking up just a little bit more every single week? Do you realize that because you put so much time in just in trying to get that corner office that, that you don't even have a voice in your children's lives and the fool says, no, no, no, I know. I know. I know. I know it's only for a season. So I'm gonna do it anyway. It's the words before. See, this is, this is the gal who's uh gone online and started a chat with some guy or maybe it's at work and they're friends and, and you can see an emotional connection, you can see a bond happening and you go to her and you say, hey, what, what do you understand? Do you understand how dangerous this moment is that, that you're beginning to allow your heart to connect with a man who is not your husband? You're talking about things that you haven't talked to your husband about and, and you realize that you are, you, you, you may not be on the verge of a physical affair, but you're on the verge of an emotional affair. And she would say to you, you know, you, you're probably right. But if you knew how empty I am inside, if you knew how lonely my marriage is right now. So it probably isn't the smartest thing to do, but I'm gonna do it anyways. This is the family who's living at 100% of their income, every penny that comes in, they spend it every single month. They've got lease payments out the years. They've got a mortgage that's way too bigger than they probably should have taken. The boat is sitting in the garage right now and they're still making payments on it. And now they have to justify it by going to the lake on the weekend and not going to church because there's so many money and you say to them, and you realize you're living at 100% of capacity, you realize if anything were to happen, if anything were to happen in your life, you've got no margin. You would instantaneously be upside down. And I go, no, no, I know, I know, but we're having a lot of fun and I'm gonna do it anyways. Now, here's what's interesting about the fool is that Solomon is gonna tell us there's two types of fools. And that literally, this is the seat, this is the chair that divides our reaction. The first type of fool Solomon talks about, he says there's a fool who actually listens. There's a fool who, because you're involved in their lives because you took the time to have the conversation and they probably spouted back a little bit, but they actually listen on occasion and they don't listen every time. If they listened every time they wouldn't be a fool, they'd be wise, right? But they listen maybe every third time. And so what you begin to sense in the life of the fool is, hey, you know what my presence, my living and community with them and around them is having a positive effect. They're not moving as fast as I wish they, but I can see that my input is helping move in the right direction. And here's what Solomon would say about the fool who listens, grab your Bibles. Go with me to Proverbs still. Chapter 26. Proverbs chapter 26. It's verse five. Here's what he says. Answer a fool according to his folly. OK? He says, look good when you see that fool, that person goes. No, no, I know it's the wrong thing, but I'm gonna do it anyway when you see them getting ready to do it, or maybe they've done it and now they're living with the consequence and it's the moment to go. Hey, you understand, you understand why that turned out that way. Right. That's a direct result of the decision you made in your life. And here's what it says, you must answer them. You've got to get involved, you've got to say something to them. And I know, I know it probably means an argument. It probably means that they're going to be frustrated, but you might even lose a friendship over it. But he says, answer the fool, don't, don't let this go unattended or the fool will become wise in their own eyes. You've got to have the conversation. But what is, what is Solomon saying in that moment, Solomon is saying this is a good Samaritan moment. The loving thing to do to a fool who occasionally listens is to have the conversation to not let that teaching moment go unaddressed, lean in, lean in, lean in to the listening fool. But Solomon says there is a second type of fall. There's the type of fool who ignores and the moment you run into the type of fool ignores it takes you to the other side of the line. And Solomon says, hey, if you run into the fool, he just says, look, despite what you say, they never listen, they always have an excuse. They're always dismissing you. He says that fool, that fool, you've got to have a she bear moment with you. You're gonna have to start doing healthy boundaries. As a matter of fact, remember the fob it was talking about that kind of a fool. Let me read it again. Better to meet a mama bear robbed of her cubs than a fool. And here's the key word bent, committed to absolutely determined in their folly. And he says, hey, you meet a fool like that, you meet a fool who just says, no, I'm not gonna listen, I'm never gonna let you contribute. Then he says, this is a she bear moment. This is a moment. You're gonna have to start drawing some boundaries. It's the only healthy thing to do. It's actually the most helpful thing to do for both of you. Now, here's what you need to know about boundaries. Boundaries can be as simple as rules. So we've got a couple in the church that came to me a couple of years ago and they said, Lynn, we're having a struggle right now because my wife's parents are alcoholics. They're chronic alcoholics. And the dilemma is they come over to visit the grandkids and now they're falling down drunk and, and they said, we, we just don't want our Children in that kind of environment. I mean, we work so hard not to have that type of home. And then when they're there, they, the things that come out of their mouths are just vile. So we're trying to figure out do we just tell them, hey, you can't see your grandkids. What, what do we do in a moment like that? Here's what I told him, this is a moment for healthy boundaries. This is a moment for rules. So here's what you get to do. Think about this, you get to set down your parents and tell them there are new rules for our relationship. And when you come over to our house, you can never, never, never be drunk. If you come to our house to visit your grandkids drunk, I'll send you home. It's the new rule. And look, I can't tell you what to do in your own home. But what you need to know is if we come to visit you in your home and we find you drunk, we will pack up the kids and leave because we don't want this to be their memory of their grandparents. And if you're willing to abide by the rules, you have full access to your grant, you can come any time you want, it's establishing healthy boundaries. But you understand too. There are some people you just have to say, look, I rules aren't even gonna work. You're, you're so bent, you're so into what you're doing. And the problem is what you're doing is causing everybody around you pain. A matter of fact, scripture says this walk with a fool and you will suffer harm. And if you doubt that if, if you doubt that, ask the Children of divorce in this room, ask him, ask him if a fool can go off and act foolishly and nobody else get hurt. If you doubt that, ask the family member of somebody who's addicted in this room. If a fool can be a fool and nobody else be harmed. And so there come moments where you just have to say, whoa, whoa, whoa, this is a big sheep. Her. This is a moment. I, we're just gonna create and here's the deal, I'm gonna, I'm gonna walk so far. I'm gonna totally avoid, I'm gonna totally avoid contact because what you're set on, what you're gonna do is not only gonna cause you harm, it's gonna cause harm. And, and, and as long as you choose that lifestyle, I can't do that with you. If your heart ever changes. If God ever breaks you and you're ready, then come on back, we'll reage again. But as long as you're committed to the folly, we're going to walk different paths, healthy barriers and boundaries. Solomon gives you and me a third type of person, he calls them mockers. These are the people who say, you know what? I don't care that it's evil. I don't care that it's wrong. I'm gonna do it. I'm smarter than everybody else. And how dare you try to tell me how to live my life. You talk to a fool and they'll ignore you, you talk to a mocker and they will attack you. They, they will decide that you are so out of line and the idea that you would question their is so inappropriate that they are gonna take you down and fight with you and fight with you and fight until they grind you in the ground and you learn the lesson that you never, never, never again have the audacity to try to tell me how to live my life. It's interesting because mockers very often come to this chair, the chair of being king of my life through success. A lot of times Mockers are highly intelligent people. Uh Sometimes they've gotten amazing grades in school. They took the sat, they did much better than the rest of us. They got a four year scholarship to college. But you understand, you understand that there is a wide chasm between being smart, intellectually, smart and wisdom and there are people who know how to multiply things that you and I don't know how to multiply, but they don't have the common sense to come in, out of the rain. Sometimes, sometimes the mocker is a mocker because they've had financial success. I mean, they're, they're making money like crazy. Everything they touch seems to turn to gold and they're going look, you see my car, you see my house. How dare you, what, what would give you the idea that you could say anything that would be of benefit to me? Sometimes it's because they made it to the corner office. They've got a position of power and they go, you, you're still on the assembly line. How arrogant of you to think you could add any value to my life. And here's what Solomon says about the mocker. Solomon says about the mocker. They are 100% of the time a she bear moment. Matter of fact, scripture says this cast out the mocker and your life will be better. Just no, if, if, if you're a mocker, I I've got to live life away separate from you. So let me ask you the question, the person who's the emotional vampire in your life? Do they sit in the chair of the mocker and scripture would say avoid, avoid like you would avoid a she bear until you ready until God breaks their heart. Because when God breaks their heart, they'll get up out of the chair of the mocker and then we can have a conversation. All right. That was filter number one. So you say Lynn, well, wait a minute, I went through that. I was thinking very clearly about the person that is an emotional vampire. Iiii I couldn't for out what, what chair to put him in. OK. So filter number two is probably gonna land this for you. Filter number two, you ready? Filter number two is this, it is burden versus load. Let me say that again. Burden versus load. Grab your Bibles. Go with me to the book of Galatians. If you're not familiar, go all the way to the back of your Bible, come back to the left, you're gonna find this book of Galatians Galatians chapter six starting in verse one. Now watch as we go through this because you're gonna hear the conversation about what do I do with a person who has a burden? How should I respond to somebody who's carrying a load? And the response is different. Here we go. All right. Galatians chapter six. This is filter number two, verse one, brothers and sisters. If someone is caught in sin, you who live by the spirit should restore that person gently but watch yourselves or you too may be tempted and then verse two, ready carry each other's burdens. Good Samaritan moment. I see you carrying a burden. I'm supposed to respond, carry each other's burdens. And in this way, you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks that they are something when they're not, they deceive themselves, each one of you should test your own actions, then you can take pride in themselves alone without comparing yourselves to someone else. And then verse five, for each one should carry their own load. She bear moment. People need to carry their own load. Let me see if I can unpack it for you. A burden. A burden is when life throws at me something that's unfair. And, and I didn't bring on myself. In other words, it, it's just the unfairness of the world that comes in and hits me. I didn't do anything reckless to cause this. It's a burden load load is my responsibility load is what I'm supposed to do. It's how I'm supposed to live my life with a little bit of wisdom. It's, it's the part that I should take care of because everybody else has to take care of that in their lives. That's my load to carry. So, here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give you two scenarios. You in your mind. Ok? You're not gonna raise your, just in your mind. What would you do in these two scenarios? Is it a burden? Is it a load? Ok. Here we go. All right. This is Tim. Tim is a really good guy with the exception that he's short. Um Tim is a father of two about a month ago, one of his daughters was complaining that she didn't feel well and after a day or two, they took her to the urgent care who then said to him you get her to the hospital. Now, upon getting there, she was admitted, she's been there the last 30 days. Now, here's the problem. Tim's an hourly worker and so be between being up at the hospital as much as you can with his daughter who's up there and taking care of his wife and doing shifts and having to be home and help the other daughter get off to school and packing lunches. He hasn't made it to work a whole bunch and when you're an hour you worker and you don't make it to work a whole bunch. You don't get very big paychecks and now it's coming to the end of the month and he doesn't have the ability to pay his electrical bill. Scenario number two, this is Amy. Amy's rather cute. If you're a single guy in the room, come see me after service, I'll Amy is a shopaholic. Amy loves, loves, loves, loves, buy stuff. Matter of fact, uh, her friends have come to her on multiple occasions said Amy, this is crazy. You, you go into you, you buy stuff you don't even need. You've got stuff hanging in your closet still has tags on it. You, you, you seem to buy things because it makes you feel better. Last month there was a sale at Macy's now, Amy can't afford her electric bill. So let me ask you the question. Do you help Tim? Do you help Amy? And here's the answer. Tim is under a burden, right? Life has come out of unfair. He didn't do anything to cause his child to be sick. It's not, it's not his Medford. He's doing the most responsible thing by being up at the hospital and helping his family and getting kids off to school and missing some work. And so scripture would say when you and I see a brother under the burden, it's a good Samaritan moment that you and I 100% of the time would lean in and say no, I'm gonna help and even if you were saving that money for something else, scripture would say you helped him. Good Samaritan moment. Do you help Amy? Not on your worst day. Here's why because Amy isn't carrying her load. Amy is living with recklessness. She's had friends who've come to her time and time again and said, Amy, this is not a wise thing to do. This is, this is something that brings consequence in your life And what's happening right now is that through her reckless behavior of being a shopaholic and going to that sale at me. Now she does electric bill and she's asking you to do something that's actually carrying the load, the responsibility that she should have for her own life. Can it? You don't help Amy? It's a she bear moment. Hey, you know, I can't, I can't, I can't get involved in that. Now, some of you right now are going, man. I just feel so sorry for Amy and she's good looking and I could get a date out of this. Don't you dare? Don't you dare let me explain why? Let me explain that potentially helping Amy is the most unloving thing you could do for her life. Let me tell you why. What is the number one tool that God uses to get our attention and teach us anybody know number one tool, you better figure it out because he's gonna use it on you someday. You ready? Number one tool is failure. See, failure. Are you ready? Failure humbles the mocker. Failure shakes up the fool and failure grows up the naive and God by bringing failure to Amy's life is trying to get her attention. Hey, if you take a fool and you give him a soft landing, you give her a soft landing because you intervened and helped. Guess what a fool learns from a soft landing. Nothing. Nothing. It's why in a moment like this the most loving and kind gesture you can do in a she bear moment is saying I can't, I can, I can't. So here's the question as you took that name, where did they land? There's a real good chance that after this con you're going, oh, you're either landing on the side that says, you know what? This is somebody that I should have been more involved in. This is somebody that I walked on the other side of the road. And actually this was a person that God brought, they were exhausting and their hard, but God brought them. I missed a good Samaritan moment and I need to reage or you've been saving the fool from a hard landing. You've, you've been involved with the mocker and, and instead you need to start creating some healthy boundary. You've got some conversation. Hey, these are the new rules. Hey, if you keep living that we're gonna live apart until your heart changes, you know what I got a feeling I got a feeling that a whole bunch of us need to leave this place today and have a whole bunch of conversations because both responses require that we talk. Let's pray. Hey, dear Lord Jesus, we simply come to you in the moment and God, the truth is there's a whole bunch of us in this room that right now we know what we should do, but that's gonna, that's just gonna take a whole bunch of courage. And so God, we're just asking, would you fill our hearts with resolve? Help us to go to the people that you've placed in our life that are good Samaritan moments and say, hey, look, even though hanging around you and being with you is going to take a lot of work and might even be expensive. I'm in, I'm in, I honestly believe you are a God given assignment to me. You are my good Samaritan moment. And God, there are some people in my life who I need healthy boundaries with and, and I'm going to have conversations that are probably gonna tick them off and frustrate them to no end. But it's the right thing to do. It's the healthy thing to do. Give us courage in this. We pray in Jesus name. Amen. Hey, Mission Grove family. I hope that you enjoy that message from Pastor Lynn Winters. Normally we conclude our service with a song of praise and a song of reflection. Well, today I would like for us as a church community to pause and to pray in light of the division and the tragedy that has come in response to the death and loss of life of George Floyd. Let us pray that God's love and the light of the Gospel will come and change the hearts of our community, our country and our world now is the time for the light of the Gospel to shine through because we were all made in the image of God and Jesus died for the sins of the world. And when he rose again on the third day, he not only covered our sins, but he conquered death. That means that all things are possible. That means that a change of heart is possible. That means that injustice can be made just that people can be forgiven, change can be broken, addictions, habits, attitudes, judgments can be put to the side in a new heart, a new creation, a new life and a new love can be placed in each and every one of us through the gospel of Jesus. So let us start here, let us start now and let us start with you and with me. And if you're sitting there watching this video and you say John, my heart is broken and I'm not sure what to do though. So I want to encourage you to do three things. Number one, listen to understand, not to reply. The world's not gonna be changed with a social media post, listen to the hurts of the people around you and connect with them on an emotional level. Two pray prayer is not the only thing we do, but it should be the first thing we do and that we are praying to an Almighty God who created and sustains the world as we know it. And so it's through his power that the world can change. And three look for practical ways to love your neighbors, the way that Jesus has loved us, what we say, what we do, may everything be to the glory of God and may everyone feel his love through us? Let's pray dear heavenly Father, we just lament and we mourn for those who are hurting God. The loss of life is never ok. But it's in the middle of injustice that you came to earth that you said injustice is not ok. But God, you are both just and the justif fire. And so you took all the injustice in the world when you died on the cross for the sins of the world. And so now we ask for your forgiveness. We repent of bad attitudes and things that may have been said or done to hurt our brothers and sisters in Christ, God. I mean, we look for practical ways to love people the way that you have loved us. God, you are for us, which means we wanna be for our community. So let us start here, let us start. Now, let us be the church that you have called us to be. May you have the glory in this country? May revival break out and may your spirit change the hearts and lives of the people that they can go from being oppressed to being set free to being judgmental, to being, accepting, to being broken, to be blessed and built up. May we bring the light of your gospel into this world? And when we bring love into every conversation and into every opportunity as we look for ways to serve our neighbors, we love you God. It's in your son's name. We pray amen.