Several years ago, I was working at another church and I got frustrated and
annoyed with somebody. And so I did what any normal person does when they get
annoyed with somebody, and I looked for one of my friends to vent, and I didn't
find them in the office, and so I decided to send off a quick email venting. Has
anyone ever email vented? Uh, maybe after this, I would encourage you not to do
that. Um, so I, I just like, oh, I can't believe this person, they said this.
How could they do that? They always blah blah, you know, and I'm just
complaining, um, as all spiritual people do, and, uh, no, it wasn't my brightest
moment. And so I was like, ah, hit send. It's like, oh, I feel better, right?
Cause when you complain, you feel better afterwards, right? It's like, oh, OK, I
got that out of my system. And then I was waiting for the validation response
email back, right? Because that's what you do when you send it to your friend,
and then they send back, oh, they're the worst, right? And then they're like,
yeah, and you just kind of like, right, that's what happens in friendship, but I
didn't get that email back. And I was like, huh, that's not like that person.
Normally they'd respond back and validate how I feel right in that moment. And
so I was like, well, let me just double check the email. And then sure enough, I
checked the email and in my subconscious writing about the person, I
accidentally sent the email about the person to the person instead of my friend.
Yeah, it was not a shining moment in my life. And, uh, and so I was like,
unsend, unsend, no, it didn't work. And so then I had this hatched a plan to get
into the person's computer to try to, OK, uh, no, I, I had to swallow, uh, just
a, a big piece of humble pie, and I had to approach the person and say, hey, I,
have you checked your email? No, not today. And they were so happy to, and I was
like, ah. You know what, why don't I check the email for you real quick? And
then you, uh, no, and so I said, hey, I just, you're, you're gonna get an email
from me. I'm so sorry, and I had to just humble myself and apologize and address
the person and thankfully, they were um very gracious with me and responded back
and it wasn't my brightest moment. Uh, have you ever been there? Have you ever
put your foot in your mouth? Said something that you wish you could take back?
Based on the nodding, maybe somebody did it this morning. Um, I don't know. Uh,
I've been there. I think the fact, the fact is I think we've all been there at
some point. Because we react sometimes more than we respond, right? We get
emotional, and we say something, and then we come back later, like, ah, it
probably wasn't the best. Author Daniel Coleman in his 1995 book. The title
Emotional intelligence described emotional intelligence as the capacity for
recognizing our own feelings and for those of others, for motivating ourselves
and for managing emotional well-being in ourselves and in our relationships. You
know, over the last 30 years, the topic of emotional intelligence has increased
within our culture. And I think that's a good thing, right? To become self-
aware. To become. Self-regulated to become. Really aware of what motivates us to
have a little bit of insight into empathy, as well as awareness of the social
skills and the relationships with the people around us. And while emotional
intelligence in psychology and in leadership seems like a newer discussion in
culture today, the reality is it goes back to just biblical concepts of how God
wired us. And it goes back to the word of God. And so today's message is
entitled Taming Wild Words, because all of us Could take some effort to work
within ourselves and increase our emotional intelligence, not just with how we
live, as Pastor Dan shared last week, but also what we say. And so if you're
taking notes, I encourage you to write this down, that your words create worlds.
Your words create worlds. Now a number of poets, authors have said something
similar to that in recent years. But again, this is a truth that goes back to
scripture all the way back to the very beginning. And I mean beginning,
beginning. Genesis 1:1. In the beginning, was the heavens and earth, and, and
how is it that God created the world as we know it? He spoke it into existence.
God's word is so powerful that he commanded nothingness and nothingness obeyed
him, that everything that we have come to understand and know and see and
experience came first out of the mouth of our God, our Lord, our Savior, our
Creator. And then we are created in his image, which means. That we have the
power to also create worlds with our words. How you speak shapes the season that
you're in. It shapes the situation that you're in. And it influences the
relationships around you. As I just mentioned last week, Pastor Dan talked about
how real faith impacts how you live. And James, the half brother of Jesus, who's
writing to a group of Christians who were dispersed and being persecuted and
attacked. He doesn't hold any punches. He says, this is what real faith looks
like. And so not only is he gonna talk about what it means, how real faith is
played out and how you live, in James chapter 3, he's gonna talk about how real
faith is played out and how you speak to one another. And so the structure of
James is really threefold. It talks about the power of our words. The danger of
our words. And then the source of our words. And so we're gonna walk through
this passage and see these three sections, the power of our words, the danger of
our words, and then the source of our words. But before we even jump into James
chapter 3, the idea of speaking and the connection to our faith was already
presented. See, in chapter 1 verse 19, James tells us to be quick to listen and
slow to speak. And then in chapter 1 verse 26, James writes that if anyone
thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue, but deceives his heart,
this person's religion is worthless. That in other words, if you try to praise
God on Sunday, but then you curse people on Monday, what good is your religion?
What good is your faith if it doesn't impact how you treat the people around
you? What good is your faith if you don't grow in your spiritual and emotional
intelligence and how you treat and love other people? And so let's jump into it
here. First, the 1st 5 verses here in James chapter 3 is the power of my words.
He writes, not many of you should become teachers, my brothers, for you know
that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. Isn't it interesting
that even 2000 years ago, people were trying to gain platforms for the purpose
of influence and notoriety? Right. This is well before social media in an age of
influencers, people were craving a platform. And and trying to use their
personality to for selfish reasons. And today, it's wild that we live in a
community and a culture where anybody can have a platform. That when you
actually interview the youngest generation, that one of the most common jobs and
aspirations of a generation is to become a YouTuber. Well, that craving is not
just a marker of this generation, but rather a marker of humanity, because even
2000 years ago, people were were clamoring for a platform and for influence. And
what James is saying is like, hey, before you crave a platform, understand this,
that you're going to be judged more strictly. That the higher you're calling,
the less options you have. The higher your leadership platform is, is that the
higher your responsibility. And so don't be so quick to pursue something without
understanding the cost associated with it. And so he's saying, don't, don't,
don't just try to become a teacher for selfish gain. Understand that it's going
to be described and defined by sacrifice and service. So he starts there. But
then in verse two, he makes it personal, and he says, for we all stumble in many
ways. I love this because in the book of James, it can be easily read or
interpreted like James is up there going, Well, you need to do this and this and
this and this. He pauses here and goes, Look, we, myself included, stumble in
every way. That I need God's grace as much as you do, and that together we gotta
figure this thing out. And so he says, if anyone does not stumble on what he
says, he is a perfect man. Now, from chapter one, we learned that perfect really
means this idea of wholeness or complete. And so the person that is able to
bridle his tongue is able to bridle his whole body. In other words, the person
that can speak well, represents a whole or complete or mature life. And then
he's gonna give 3 pictures here, which is perfect because these are working
class images for everyday people that still apply to us and are understood by us
as believers 2000 years later. Verse 3, he says, if we put bits into the mouths
of horses, so they obey us, we guide their whole bodies as well. I didn't really
think much about horses, to be honest, until I moved up by Cave Creek. Right?
When I was, we were starting the church and we were launching and I was, uh,
running meetings out of Saddle Creek Coffee Company and, and, and people would
literally ride a horse to a coffee shop and come in. And then, then you had TV
shows like Yellowstone and other things like these, uh, westerns coming out. I
was like, I, I could run a ranch. And then after just talking with people about
it, like, no, I could not. I could not run a ranch at all. I do not have that
skill set. But I'm impressed by it. Why? Because horses are beautiful animals.
These majestic, beautiful, although stinky, if you gotta clean out the barn,
like, these are incredible animals that are so powerful, and yet they can be
controlled with a bit in their mouth. I was reading up on it a little bit and
that the horses have nerves within their mouth that when you pull on it, it
sends like a shock throughout their body and so that something so small impacts
everything. So the first image we have here from James is that just as a bit can
control this majestic, beautiful horse, so your mouth can control your whole
body, and the direction in which your life goes. Verse 4, he says, look at the
ships also. Though they are so large and are driven by strong winds, they are
guided by a very small rudder, wherever the will of the pilot directs. So here
now, a second image comes in. Of a boat can be. Directed in the water. I had
some kayaking with my family and my born it was the funniest thing that we were
kayaking, he would just put his oar in the water and all of a sudden boat would
turn and we'd hit the bank or go into a tree and he would giggle and laugh and
then we'd go back. And he loved the fact that you could just put the oar in the
water and the boat would turn. And, and so much in our lives really can be
reflected in that. That how many of you, if you think about your own
relationships, that relationship was broken because of a word spoken. Or a
reaction to a situation. A negative thought. Expressed In a written post or an
email. Or a conversation. See, your mouth has so much power to it. Verse 5, it
says, so also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things, how
great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire. You know, here in Arizona, so
much of our land is susceptible to wildfires because the ground is so dry. That
one spark at the wrong time in the wrong place can set ablaze acres upon acres
upon acres. A few years ago, my family and I were up in Flagstaff when there was
that one of the wildfires up there on the north side of the mountain, and so it
was weird, you're driving down the road and you just see the planes dropping
that pink stuff over to drop and to see, man, it's amazing. To see smoke in the
air and hundreds of acres burning, and it, and it started from a spark. I
started from a moment. And yet fire is also so helpful too, right? Like fire
produces energy, produces life, it, it, it produces warmth, right? If you've
ever been camping on a cold evening and you got that smell of a cozy campfire or
the taste of a perfectly cooked s'more. Right. Now, quick survey, you don't have
to raise your hand, but just you can tell your neighbor here. Are you, like if
it comes to eating s'mores, are you like the throw in the fire, burn it, and
blow it out type or just like the slow roast turn? I'm the slow roast type
because you are a perfect, right? And if you don't like s'mores, we'll pray for
you. Um, it is a small glimpse of heaven. Um. So how is it that a fire that can
bring warmth, and, and light and heat. can also destroy so much. It's the spark.
The place, the time, the purpose. There's power in the bit, in the rudder, and
in the spark. Proverbs 15:4 says, a gentle tongue is a tree of life, but
perverseness in it breaks the spirit. Then in Proverbs 18:21 says the power or
the tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its
fruit. Here's the reality. Is that Your words have the power to build or burn
bridges. Because your words are creating worlds. You are telling a story to
yourself and to those around you. So the question is, what world are you
building? What story are you telling? Is it about the obstacle or the
opportunity? Is it about being a victim or about being victorious? Is it about
the burdens that are surrounding you or the blessings that are surrounding you?
Is it about the guilt? Or is it about the gratitude that you have? Is it about
the shame or is it about the salvation? Is it about the darkness? Or is it about
the hope and the light that is found through Christ alone, that what you say. To
others, what you say to yourself impacts how you see the world. Impacts the
season of life that you're in, because your words have that much power that
they, they control the direction of your life. My words have power. But the next
what we're gonna see in this letter. It's not just the power of my words, but
also the danger of my words. See, the same words that can heal. Can hurt Not
only is there danger there, but, but think about the anger that comes. From an
outburst. Think about the pride. The line. Or the cursing or the negativity. The
selfishness. There is so much power for good. But also For bad. The right place
at the right time. Wrong place, wrong time. That we have to be aware of the
power of our words and the worlds that we're creating. James writes this
starting in verse 6, he says, and the tongue is a fire. He describes it as a
world of unrighteousness. There's a whole other world. He said the tongue is set
among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of
life, and set on fire by hell itself. The first sin in the garden started with
what? With believing a lie spoken by Satan. He continues on verse 7, he says,
for every kind of beast and bird and reptile and sea creature can be tamed, and
has been tamed by mankind. Well, except for Jurassic Park and that whole series,
that like we've got to stop trying to make dinosaurs in movies, OK? I'm just
kidding on that, but they're fun movies anyway. Every animal's been tamed. Or
can be tamed, right? We see this in zoos and, and, and aquariums and other
things like these powerful, majestic Animals can be tamed by mankind, he says,
but no human can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil full of deadly poison.
Just in those short verses, we see in there that it's described as a world of
darkness, a stain against the body, a restless evil, a deadly poison. How does
that show up in everyday life? It's the meeting after the meeting. Right. It's
the things that you say to yourself. After someone else hurts you. It's the
shame of something you did, it's the guilt of You feel like you're not worthy or
good enough? Someone hurts you, so you in turn hurt others. And then you feel
bad about it, so then you retreat and put walls up. And so much of it is a
voice. That instead of building life, we, we, we burn things down. It's so
dangerous. It's so dangerous that we have to be watchful. It says that no person
can tame it by himself or by herself. Let me ask you a question. In, in the day
and age of social media, did it create anger and rage? Or did they just give us
a tool to facilitate it? Now, if you're upset, you can immediately go on and
post whatever you're thinking, feeling, commentating on this and that and the
other. And then this side gets angry, and then this side gets angry, and then it
was, yeah, yeah, bro, and we go and like, the media didn't create this is, is we
created this. Why? Because it starts with a spark in a word. And a reaction Some
of us are still dealing with wounds about something that was said to us a decade
ago. Or what we say to ourselves on a daily basis. Some of the most negative
conversations we have take place on the other side of the mirror. And you're
willing to show grace to other people, but not yourself. What, what is the world
that you're creating? And does it match up with the God? That we sing praises
to. You see, Jesus knew that the tongue was trouble. That's why in John 17, the
longest prayer that Jesus prayed in the Gospels, in the garden, he's praying for
his disciples and for the church, that they would be unified and that they'd be
one. And he says this in John 17:17, he says, sanctify them in the truth, for
your word is truth. Are your words true? Cause truth will set you free. Notice
it doesn't say, and you will know your feelings and feelings will set you free.
He says, you will know the truth and the truth will set you free. And the sun
sets you free, you are free indeed. This is from John 8. Writer in Psalm 3412 to
14, put it this way, he says, What man is there who desires life and loves many
days that he may see good? Do you want a desireous life? Do you want a
prosperous life? Verse 13, it says, keep your tongue from evil and your lips
from speaking deceit. Turn away from evil, and to do good, to seek peace and
pursue it. So here's what Scripture teaches us. Is that an untamed tongue is a
sign of an untamed life. Your tongue and your speech is not just moralistic, but
it's diagnostic. It meaning it tells you what's on the inside. I love coffee. I
love a variety, hot, cold, whatever. I'm all about pumping spice right now, but
I, I won't discriminate against it. I'll have whatever kind of coffee that
comes, right? I, I love it. But here's what I do is I often spill my coffee. And
typically, it's directly correlated if if I'm wearing a white shirt or a brand
new shirt. The percentage of spilling is way higher at that time. Anybody track
with me that? OK. But what, what I'm not surprised by when I spill coffee is
that it's coffee that's spilling on me. Why? Cause it's, it's coming out of
what's in my cup. That would be weird if I had coffee spills, but I never drank
coffee. Why do I say this? Some of you are shocked by what you say, but where is
that coming from? It's coming from within you. You are only speaking out what's
already in your heart. What's already in your mind, and so you can only spill
what's in your cup, meaning that your tongue that is so dangerous will only
spill out what's already inside of you. And so that's why we don't just look at
the power of my words and the danger of my words, but we have to go deeper and
actually take a look at the source of our words. James continues on in verse 9,
and he says in here. This is with our mouth, we bless our Lord and Father, and
with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. Isn't that so
crazy? That we will sing, bless God, but curse people made in His image. That's
why we have to go to the heart, because he continues on and he says in verse 10,
it says from the same mouth come blessing and cursing, my brothers, my sisters,
these things ought not to be so. I love the honesty there. He's not saying that
it won't happen. He's saying that this shouldn't happen. But remember, in verse
2, he included himself in that cycle, that as believers, We have to speak from
the spirit, not from our flesh. Does what you sing on Sunday match with how you
speak on Monday? He's gonna give some more imagery here. In verse 11, he says,
does a spring pour forth from the same opening, both fresh and saltwater?
Springs were active in that area, and if there were springs, you can use fresh
and you can use saltwater, but if they're mixed, it becomes useless. And now you
got really no, no animals living in there. It's not helpful to anybody. He
continues on with with common plants of farmers and crops in that day and in
that area. He says in verse 12, can a fig tree, my brothers, bear olives, or a
grapevine produce figs? Neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. It's like, if
you want figs. Then why are you planting olives? If, if, if you want figs, why
are you planting grapes? He's saying you have to go back, not just look at the
fruit, but also go back to what is the seed that you're planting in your life.
That's why it goes deeper into the heart, saying, what are the seeds that you're
planting in that now the fruit is what you're speaking of. And it's how you're
speaking reflective of your faith. Again, does what you read and what you sing
on Sunday match with how you speak and how you treat people on Monday? As
believers, that's what real faith really is. That's where transformation
happens. If I'm spilling coffee. On myself or on others. I have to go back and
recognize and be honest with myself that there was coffee in the cup. Meaning if
I'm spilling anger. Unto the people around me, that means there there was anger
in my cup. And I've shared this with some of you before, but You know, if you go
to Costco. Anyone else ever go to Costco for a $1.50 hotdog and come out with a
$500 bill? You know, and they have somebody at the end, when you leave, checking
the receipt. Right? Why do they do that? Well, they want to make sure what's in
your cart. Has already been paid for, right? OK. Now let's take this in a
spiritual sense. OK, Jesus paid for forgiveness. So why is there bitterness in
your cart? Jesus paid for peace, but yet why is there chaos in your heart? Jesus
paid for purpose and love and joy, and yet you got darkness and bitterness in
your cart. Like, why are you putting stuff in your cart? That's, it's not what
Jesus paid for. You have to go deeper in the well and examine what is in the
cup, what is in your heart? Jesus says these words in Matthew 12:34. He says,
for out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. But you're a mouthpiece
for it. Why are we shocked when things spill out? I don't know where they came
from. What seeds have you planted? Right? Why is it that we take in negativity
and all the things of the world on a regular basis and then expect to produce
things of the spirit? That's why things like worship and prayer and reading
scripture is so important, because if you put enough into your body and give it
to God through the power of the Spirit, eventually that that starts to seep out.
Right, In the medical field, it's important to know your blood type. Right?
Well, do you understand that your blood type should reflect The blood of Christ
that he shed on the cross as payment for your sins and for mine. You've had a
transfusion. You have the blood of Christ, the power of Christ that took to the
cross, all those things that we struggle with continually, anger, bitterness,
shame, lying, greed, pride, lust. All those things he took to the cross, so that
when we replace that with the the things of the Spirit from our heart, then
overflows that forgiveness and grace and peace and love. And now what we say
lines up with what we sing about. That's where transformation happens. OK, John,
but I get it. You're telling me to to be kind and then, but I wasn't. What, now
what? Well, scripture also gives us the opportunity of what to do and a guide
for what to do. King David when he was confronted With those dark sins of
adultery and, and, and murder and pride and lying. And when he finally comes to
the place of rock bottom, and he confesses before the Lord, one of the strongest
psalms in all of the Bible, Psalm 51. He says this in verse 10, he says, create
in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me. See, that cry
right there, that confession, that repentance is not, Lord, help me not to cuss
a little bit. Help me to be a little bit nicer. No, it's not a prayer of
changing behavior. Like my goal here is not for you to behave slightly better
tomorrow than you did today. But if it's not about behaving, what is it about?
It's about becoming. The man or the woman of God who God created you to be. He
says, create in me a clean heart, oh God, and renew a right spirit within me.
Plant a better seed in my heart. The seed of grace and forgiveness and joy and
love that comes through Jesus Christ alone and the power of the Holy Spirit
living within me. And let me speak in light of that. Another great prayer found
in Psalm 1914. Simply says, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my
heart be acceptable in your sight, oh Lord, my rock and my redeemer. If you
can't believe what you say about you, right? You're, you, you keep telling that
negative voice in your head, bad stories. Start by saying what God says about
you. And ask for that story, that world to be built. On who God says you are.
And more importantly, who God says he is. I don't know if you know this, but you
can find bitterness and anger for free. You don't have to work to be selfish.
You don't have to work to be angry. Right, the world, the world will freely
disciple you in that. Like no one wakes up and goes, you know what, I hope when
I get older, I become more bitter and angry at the world. I really want my
relationship to be isolated with walls that we throw verbal grenades at each
other. Ah, you know, I really wish I could grow in my passive aggressiveness,
you know. No, Cause that's human, that's natural. That's our default mode. And
so are you living by default? Are you living by design? If you live by design,
you can say prayers like Psalm 19:14, where you're just coming before
confessing, repenting before God, calling sin sin, admitting what is true and
being honest and real and authentic before him, and then coming in humility
before the God who made you and saved you with these words, let the words of my
mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable in your sight. May what comes
out from me be what you've placed in me. My rock and my redeemer. Why is that
important? Because you can't tame your tongue without first surrendering your
heart. You can't tame your tongue without first surrendering your heart. Are you
willing to surrender your life to Christ? Why? Because your words create worlds.
What you say matters. What you say to yourself. What you say to your kids, what
you say to your spouse. And can I just say something too? That in your
relationships, silence is also speaking. Right? Well, I don't want to say the
wrong thing, so I won't say anything. OK. What do you get between an arsonist
and somebody who's apathetic? What's in common? You both end up with nothing.
One tears down, and that's obvious, right, that's bad. But then one refuses to
build and has got all the supplies sitting there on the side. How many
construction sites do you see around the valley that they run out of money or
something happens and it's just kind of sitting there? Nothing happens until you
build it. More specifically, nothing happens until you allow God to build it
through you. And so let me ask you 3 questions to close. Number 1, Are you
willing to pause your tongue? On your own, you will not tame your tongue. It is
human nature to lie, to cheat, to steal, to brag, to boast, to be jealous of, to
covet, to tear down. Are you willing though, before you speak? To pause and pray
Imagine just how different our world would be if before we reacted, everyone
would just simply pause and pray before they posted or spoke. Imagine how your
life would be different instead of trying to say something, I got you. Right.
Sometimes we think our anger and our verbal. diatribes that we go on, it feels
good, right? We get it out of our system, when in reality, we just verbally and
emotionally threw up on the other person. And so we threw up on the other
person, and now we feel better and we walk away and the person's covered in
residue. And you're like, oh, that's gross. Yeah, that's what happens though.
What if you pause and you pray? Before you post or respond or spoke. The second
step then is to Then purify your heart. Can you be honest, confess, repent, go
to God, take those same worries. And instead of unloading them on the person
around you, all the insecurities, you instead turn that and give it to God. And
in and in response, in humility, in repentance, in confession, you can go, God,
create in me a new heart. May the words of my mouth and the meditations of my
heart be acceptable before You, O Lord, my rock, my redeemer. May I speak from
my, from your spirit, not my flesh. I know I've got darkness inside of me
because I'm human, but I also have goodness inside of me because I have the same
spirit that created the world and conquered death. And so let me walk in your
spirit. Let me speak in a way that is spirit filled and spirit led. Because if
you pause your tongue, and you purify your heart, that's gonna give you the
opportunity here then to plant life with your words. Your words have the power
to create worlds. In your life In your marriage In your parenting, in your
friendships. On your teams at your workplace. So what seeds are you planting?
Right now, is it discord, is it distrust? Is it tearing down? It's a brokenness.
Are you planting the seeds of life? That spring from a heart that's transformed
by Jesus Christ. That can impact people for eternity and beyond. First hour we
had several people get baptized. And they spoke so loudly with their lives. And
even boldly proclaim their faith in Jesus. Those two young women that came forth
and set the example for us. And so we celebrate that. Look, we have the waters
here. If you want to get baptized after service, talk to me. Talk to Pastor
Kurt. He'll be in the back. We got people like wanna pray with you, we're going
through something. Let's, let's process through this. But let us also
prayerfully and in humility. Not to sing these words to bless God, but in turn.
Go out and live out and bless others with the way that God has truly transformed
and changed us. Will you pray with me? Dear Heavenly Father, just thank you for
who you are and what you've done. God, we praise you and all. That you do. God,
James, the leader of the church in Jerusalem. Even in his own words, said that
he stumbled. And so God, we know that we all stumble in so many ways. But may
the words of our mouth. And the meditation of our heart be acceptable before
you, oh God, our rock and our redeemer. May you, may we bless you with what we
sing today. And we bless others with how we speak to them this week. We love you
and your sons and we pray. Amen.