dearly father how this morning's worship was so moving and so um so incredible God that you were the cornerstone of our faith. She were holy. Do you have the power to break the change that bind us God that you are king. And so we just together sit under the authority of your word. God may may you speak and fill this room this morning. Not because I personally have something to say because in my own wisdom I don't have much to share but God that you will speak to us that through your word God that we can be challenged and changed and inspired to live for you. For whatever reason that people came this morning. God we are grateful that they are here. We want them to know that they are loved and we want to encourage them to take that next step in their faith. Got our heart and our prayer and our desire. It's for every man, woman and child to experience. You may we experience you this morning in your son's name. We pray amen. President of stronger families john dr john Trent shares a story About a girl named Mary who grew up in the 50s. Now mary was born with a cleft palate and so she had a mis shaped lip, a crooked nose and garbled speech. And so she had a difficult time going to school and growing up in the fifties. In fact mary was convinced that no one outside of her family even loved her. She didn't feel worthy to be loved. That was until she entered. Mrs Leonard's class. See Mrs Leonard was a grade school teacher, everybody liked her, but mary loved her with a warm smile, round face or shiny brown hair. Mrs Leonard just had this aura about her that just brightened mary's day. Now I was pretty regular practice in the 1950s for teachers to perform regular hearing tests and do so through active a whisper test. And so one by one the student would enter the room And they would cover one year and not looking at the teacher, the teacher would whisper something in and and the and the student had to repeat it. Now mary was already self conscious about this day because she already got made fun of enough and you see she could barely hear out of one of her ears. And so she thought sure enough this was going to be the day, but now I'm going to another thing to be made fun of for but she she knew this test and so she would kind of cheat a little bit so she would go in and she would always point her strong ear towards the teacher and if she couldn't she would pretend to cover the ear but really cut it to try to hear the words of the teacher and she was familiar enough with these tests to know that most teachers say something pretty basic like the sky is blue or what color are your shoes. And so mary entered the room very nervous and she was ready to respond with the typical phrase that the normal teacher would say. But on this day mrs Leonard would utter seven words that changed her life. For she went in apprehensive, scared, stressed and as she kept her ear and Mrs Leonard lead in for the whisper test, Mrs Leonard whispered these words, I wish you were my little girl. See in one phrase she felt love in one phrase it changed her outlook in life and that is because words are powerful. In fact I find it no coincidence that God chose to speak the world into existence. The power of words is actually one of eternity. And in a small way our words actually helped create the world that we experience on a daily basis and therefore how we speak to one another is one of the greatest responsibilities we have on earth, but also how we speak to one another is one of the greatest opportunities you will have in this life to make the difference in the life of another person. If you're taking notes. The big idea I want to break down this morning that I want you to write this down. Is this that the tongue is a measure of maturity. The tongue how you speak as a measure of maturity. Therefore choose how you speak wisely how you speak. The tongue is a measure of maturity. Therefore you must choose how you speak wisely And how you speak to one another is one of the few things in this life that you have 100% control over, you can't control the situations that happen to you, but how you speak to the people around you is fully under your control and so choose wisely. You see we've been walking through a series called Faith Works Where we going verse by verse to the book of James and the theme of James has found in James chapter one verse 4 about being brought up in the faith or being matured so that your life, your faith may be made perfect or complete or whole. So in other words, we don't desire to live a fractured life, but a whole life that happens when you live out and obey what you believe in God's word. And then James chapter one verse 19 and 20, he actually gives us a precursor to this message this morning and saying to be quick to listen and slow to speak and slow to anger for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God. And so it gives us that foreshadow in James chapter one And then now we're going to dive into James chapter three and what I believe honestly is one of the strongest passages in the entire bible for how we should speak to one another And that's found in James Chapter three. Now, before we dive into the um scriptures, I want to actually kind of give you a breakdown of how James builds his argument. So remember James is the half brother of Jesus. So I'm sure he had some things to say growing up with jesus as his brother and he didn't really believe that jesus was in fact God until the point of resurrection. And then James goes on to lead the movement of the church there in the heart of Jerusalem and so he is being persecuted and so he is facing difficulties, but yet he chooses wisely how he speaks. And so he gives us this argument of why the tongue is a mark of maturity. And it's this there's three things that actually walks through the passage first. The tongue is a measure of maturity because it's powerful. We're going to see this in verses one through 6 secondly, the tongue is a measure of maturity because it's naturally untamable. In other words, when left to our own devices, we will not speak well. And then third, it's a market maturity because it shows the true condition of your heart. And so that's kind of a structure, you're gonna see this argument built and get stronger and stronger and stronger all the way to the end. But let's go ahead and read this passage together. It's gonna be up on the screens, but also encourage you to open up your bible to James chapter three, starting in verse one, let's read together, not many of you should become teachers my brothers, for you know that we who teach will be judged with greater strictness. What he's saying here is that if you desire leadership, understand what he's about to say is even more important to you. Isn't it true that the words of a leader of a teacher of a pastor of a coach makes all the difference. And so he he says pay special attention first to, for we all stumble in many ways and if anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle his whole body. I point this out because like James is getting ready to just jump on our toes. Okay, so I'm just giving you a heads up here. But before he says that he says, look, I'm not perfect, no one's perfect. We all stumble. So before I jump into this argument, before you think I'm judging you, jumping on, you getting on. You know, we all need to grow in this area. You have to understand that we all struggle And then he continues in verse three, if we put bits in the mouths of horses so they obey us and we guide uh we guide their whole bodies as well. Look at the ships also though they were so large and driven by strong winds, they are guided by a very small rudder wherever the will of the pilot directs. So also the tongue is a small member. Yet it boasts great things, how great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire and the tongue is a fire, a world oven righteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body setting on fire the entire course of life and set on fire by hell for every kind of beast and bird of reptile and sea creature can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is the restless evil full of deadly poison with it. We bless the Lord and father and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God and from the same mouth comes blessing and cursing my brothers. These things ought not to be, so does a spring pour forth from the same opening, both fresh and saltwater can a fig tree, my brothers bear olives and a grape vine produce figs, neither can a salt pond yield fresh water. So we have this picture and he uses all kinds of imagery to say the power of speech or the power of tongue up in this area actually more than than um around where I grew up um growing growing up in Ohio was around farm country and you know we had tractor day at school and uh and I was not a farmer. Um but the tractor seemed cool, okay, I was surrounded by cornfields and so um so you go up there, but I've noticed here actually living on the edge of north phoenix and cave creek, that actually horses is a huge thing. And, and so there's all kinds of whole world. I didn't realize about taking care of horses and breeding and barrel racing and jumping and showing and all kinds of things. But what's amazing to me is that these people that guide horses, that direct horses, that train horses seem to be like the tiniest of people. Right, So here is this person who's like £100 directing an animal on average that weighs between 1000 and £2000 but by a small bit in the mouth can be completely controlled. And then James gives us another picture of boats about this massive direction that takes many people, but it's directed by a rudder or directed in our case by how we speak. Such a small thing is it's a small thing about our relationships are impacted by how we speak or a forest fire. We, we think back to the California wildfires that, that just engulfed the state. Okay, that started from a spark that started from a small fire. Uh, if you're familiar with history in 1871, you have the Great Chicago fire one that almost burned down an entire city. Um, that changed the landscape of that city uh, supposedly was started because a cow kicked over a lantern. Isn't that interesting that we have modern civilization as we know it. And one of our greatest cities was almost taken out because a cow went like this. See a spark can lead to a fire and that fire can spread. And what I find interesting is that that fire can actually destroy or or can ignite something even greater or, or be used for good. So we have this picture of a horse, a boat, a fire. We have this idea that you can't draw both fresh and salt water from the same source. And he says, Nora, do you expect to plant one tree and get a different kind of fruit? So he's tying here the connection between the tongue and your heart and you say, well, you want to know somebody's heart and listen to them speak and what do they say? Because it is an outpouring of their heart. And so you have these pictures here and James even throughout that, he says, okay, everybody stumbles and then he starts sharing these pictures about the horse and the boat and the fire and animals they look, But let's, let's not, let's let's be real here. Mankind has tamed every possible animal. Okay, except for dinosaurs. We've learned from Jurassic park. That doesn't work out well. Um, okay, maybe people aren't as big as Jurassic park fans, But anyway, um, unless you can do the little clicking noise right with the raptors apparently that works. But anyway, um, so we've tried to tame every animal, okay, every beast in all of the world, but yet we cannot tame ourselves on our own strength. Isn't it interesting? You see it's a spiritual one, not just a physical one. And then that's why the value of faith and that putting your faith into practice, putting your faith into work matters and how you speak. David writes in Psalm 1914, in his prayer, he says, let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be acceptable to your site or Lord. So, in 1914, he ties the meditation of his heart to the words of his mouth. Pastor Levi, Let's go put it this way is that if jesus is lord of your life, then he needs to be the lord of your lips as well. If you claim you believe in one thing, but then you speak differently in another. It doesn't add up. You can't plant one seed and get another fruit. You're you're not being controlled by the spirit, you're being controlled by the flesh. And so let's get real practical here. I want to spend a majority of our time this morning talking about, what is it that we need to change so that we can get better in speech? What is it that we need to get better at doing? Pastor Andy Stanley puts it this way, is that uh, you know, we live in a culture where people argue and and people try to be right at each other. I'm right, you're wrong, you're the worst person in the world. I'm 100% right and like you hear both sides right? You want to try to be right at each other. But what the bible actually teaches is that we're called to be right with each other, right at each other is I win, you lose right with each other means we are making right in our relationship so that we can both take that next step in our faith. And so I want to offer four shifts we need to make and how we speak this morning because the measure of maturity is how you speak. You know, we think it's so cute when a baby says their first words and uh, you better believe with our three kiddos at home, I was throwing out the word data as much as possible because it's a race. If you, if you don't have kids yet and you don't, you don't know that when you have your first kid, it is a race to see what word you can get first out of the baby's mouth. Okay. Just giving you a heads up. And so every chance I would get, I would say data probably like 100 times a day and I go through and, and so when our kids said dad, I was like, yes, oh, we're so happy. Okay. You like it when you think that's weird, But you know what, you know, it's true. Okay. Um, guys, we have an unfair advantage. You know, dad has a little bit easier to say than the m and mama, but hey look whatever. I just take the victory where I can but, and so we get so excited as our kids try to speak right? I get so excited. Um, but they struggle at times and they don't necessarily understand pitch and pace and volume right? So like right now our cute little Chloe three years old if you've hurt her, she sometimes sounds like a princess and it's super cute and other times kind of sounds like a pterodactyl when she screams and so she's like dad, I love you. I'm like and then like when I take the toy away like it's like right and all kids go through this and they go through this thing and it's like why? Well they have not developed maturity and to express their emotions. Um and so while we we understand speaking in that level of development, the problem is as we grow as adults, we still speak in that manner. We still speak in tantrum form. We still speak in a way that attacks and goes after it instead of actually growing in maturity. And so the more you have control of your speech, the more you actually grow in your faith and and the more mature you grow in your faith. And so four ways that we can do that four shifts that we can make And how we speak or this number one is that we need to address people and attack issues. Not the other way around address people, attack issues, not the other way around. We live in a culture that does the reverse. We highlight an issue and then we argue and say you are a horrible person, don't we? Like if someone disagrees with us, it's like no, it's a circumstance, it's the situation, you know, and we start to explain ourselves, defend ourselves, right? But when somebody else is wrong and you're right, it's like you always do that, you never do that when you were right and we we throw in superlatives, right? And um That's fine, we're done with that one. So and so the idea is that you um no, what happens when we argue is that we start out addressing the issue was like, well I was really upset when this happened. Um and you're an awful person and we go in, we just start attacking boom, boom, boom boom. And sometimes we button push, sometimes we're passive aggressive, right? What's wrong? Nothing. And you like stonewall someone, you know what I'm talking about, whether it's a friend or a sibling or a family member or whatever it is. Like we all have our tactics, right? So for me, I almost go lawyer style and be like, oh I know you feel that way, here's my 17 point argument about why I'm right and like we start going, boom boom boom, we're going through and we think we're that closing scene of a courtroom setting in every law movie that's ever been made, right? Like we all like, we all want to stand up in front of the jury and so like, and then we have the speech prepared, Does anyone else do this? This is this is me, right? Like even when it's just one on one with a friend or a neighbor or someone, you have this speech prepared in your mind of like what you're gonna do and like they're like, we think it's somehow winning the argument is going to somehow win the relationship. It doesn't work that way. So when you're frustrated when you're going through a difficult situation, okay, address people, but attack the issue, you cannot help but turn on the news today and see that the reverse of this is true that we address an issue. And then here's why this person is awful. Just think about all the political ads that are out there, they're all centered around the person not an issue, right? Because we live in a culture that looks to attack people instead of issues. And so we gotta flip that second shift we need to make as a church is that we have to speak with emotion, not from emotion. Speak with emotion, not from emotion now those of you in the room that are more on the rational scale of irrational to emotional like yeah, okay. But it was the first part with emotion. Okay. so it's it's not void of emotion, it's not void of that. It's it's just not from emotion because maybe you've been in an argument with somebody and you've heard someone say, well this is how I feel, and it's like when they just grow through under the pretense of how they feel. But again, when you speak from a motion, what you're doing is you're being reactive and you're being pushed in that corner, you're just flinging stuff out as much as possible. In most cases that doesn't end up in a productive setting. And so, so you want to actually speak with emotion, it's not void of that, but try keeping that on the specific issue or the topic at hand. Um 11 phrase I've used in counseling with people is the phrase I feel blank when blank. And so you're keeping it, I feel like this hurt my feelings when our this this made me feel unappreciated with this happening and you insert the specific incident that actually caused you to feel that way versus I feel bad when you are an awful person all the time and we start listing everything. Like it doesn't it doesn't work like, like that's not the time to bring the laundry list that you've been keeping track for the last four months, right? And then you guys are looking at me, but you're also not in your head because, you know, this is true. We fight different ways. Sometimes we get a laundry list sometimes of stuff. Sometimes we just go right for the heart of a of a of a button that just get somebody right, we're like, oh I got the nuclear option. Boom. Alright. And we throw it into the fight and you know what I'm talking about or we try to avoid it and walk away. Well, piece, you know, peace faking. It's not the same thing as peacemaking. And so having a conversation when um so you're sure you're being honest, you're sharing your emotion, you're expressing your emotions and you're not going stonewall, you're not walking away, but you're expressing honestly how you feel, but you're not speaking from a motion. In other words there you're putting vulnerability and honesty and feelings out there with the hope that that could be done the same because again tied with the first point you are addressing people by attacking the issue and so you're working through situations together. Okay, shift number one address people attack issues, shift number to speak with emotion. It's not void of it. Okay? Speak with emotion, not from emotion. And then the third one is that we have to recognize the power of the pause. You know, our our remote controls have a pause button okay. Which which is great. But sometimes I feel like we need that pause button and arguments and how we speak to people Because usually when we can take a moment either count to 10 or breathe, in breathe out whatever it needs to happen, but usually settling, giving a moment to settle impacts how you speak. Pastor chris Hodges actually recommends that consider implementing the think principle, the think principle and think stands for this before you speak before you address, you might speak out initially out of emotion, but before you actually have the conversation that you need to have ask yourself, Okay, is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? And is it kind? Let's go ahead and put those on the screen. And so the think principle you want to say something you want to express? You wanna you wanna communicate, you want to speak again. Remember it is impossible to tame the tongue on our own. We need the power of the spirit in us and that we all stumble. It's not about perfection. Okay. But if we understood the value of taking a pause and asking ourselves okay, is what I'm about to say, is it true? Is it helpful? Is it inspiring? Is it necessary? Just because it's true? Doesn't mean you need to say that at that point in time. Right. Is it necessary right now? And then as a kind Paul writes in Philippians 4 8, he says finally, whatever is true, whatever is noble, just pure lovely think of good report. And if there is virtue and if there's anything praiseworthy, meditate on these things. We need to understand that in the passage here, he says, how is it that we can bless God and turn around with the same mouth the same breath use that to curse someone who was made in the very image of God. That would be like going to a party and in front of somebody bashing somebody's spouse or significant others right in front of them and expect them not to react well. We are seen as sons and daughters of God. Have you ever had somebody pick on your kid? What do you want to do? Well, still damn right. Like those are like, I remember talking to one of my friends named brian and his kid was like in preschool and uh, and he was like, I'm ready to go in there and dominate that situation. I'm like, whoa, preschool. I understand this bully but it's five, right? And but we love that, right? Because we do that as parents, we get really protective or maybe you have that sibling or friend where you guys can argue, but if somebody else attacks them, you're like, and nobody talks about my right. Like we get defensive. Okay, so why do we understand that principle? But then we forget that every human is created in the likeness of God and were seen as sons and daughters of God and that we are the church is actually described as the bride of christ. So yeah, I worship jesus. But I hate the church. So I it doesn't work. You don't be hesitant to make fun of his bride, his kids. We have to understand that when we speak to one another, we are speaking to image bearers of who God is. So we can speak with emotion not from emotion. We can recognize the value of a pause is taking a deep breath to think principle. And then lastly we have to shift because we have to first fill our heart with worship. We have to fill our heart with worship because felt gratitude is not the same thing as expressed gratitude. I'll be the first to tell you, I'm not good at thank you cards, I'm not really good at that. And I remember you know when you graduate high school, you have the open house and you and they give you gifts and you're like, this is the greatest thing ever, right? And you're going to college, people just give you gifts and then you're supposed to write thank you cards. And remember my folks were like, hey, did you write your thank you cards? Like thought about it. Like hey, it's the thought that counts right coming into play right now now. Um, and so like it like gratitude felt it's not the same thing as gratitude expressed and so sometimes we feel grateful, but we don't do a great job of showing that gratitude whether in word or indeed to the people around us. And so when you fill your heart with worship then out of that Wellspring of your heart, it changes your speech. It changes how you talk. It changes how you address someone and you mature in your faith as you understand that you have received grace, so you can extend grace, you have received forgiveness, so you can extend forgiveness. And so out of that, you choose to worship God with all that you are and then how you speak and how you love one another. That's why loving God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength is directly tied to loving others as yourself. Now, I think the greatest dynasty of all time. I mean, I'll give a nod to the patriots. They, they're doing well, congrats on winning the most boring Super Bowl game ever. Oh, they punted. I really thought the ndp was gonna be the puncher but well, congrats, they won six championships, but I think the greatest sports dynasty is the nineties bulls. Okay, uh, nineties bulls, okay, they won And it was awesome. And I mean, you know Michael Jordan, come on, he saved the world in space jam. Like he, that's a busy schedule. Okay, and so they had incredible players. They had, I mean, who's coaching the words? And you got steve Kerr, you had Dennis Rodman, you have Scottie pippen, you have Ron harper, you have all these awesome players. Well, one of the least known people in the organization, but actually had a huge impact and actually his work is some of the most memorable is that, is anyone familiar with Ray Clay on those bulls teams in the nineties, won six championships at the time, greatest record of all time, 72 10, incredible. Does anyone remember Ray Clay? Yeah, you don't. But I guarantee you would recognize his work. And that is because Ray Clay was the P A announcer for the bulls in the nineties and so he's the guy that was famous for and now from north Carolina, six ft six Michael Jordan and was like, like you have this whole thing. And so there's lots of recordings of the bulls players being introduced. And so for a decade, this guy, Ray Clay introduced the players and I love that picture because what if instead of having people talk about us, what if we were like the P a announcer for other people. Instead we used our platform, we used our voice to lift others up for you, I forgot. And so we used our potential to actually leverage and to lift up other people. And so you weren't familiar with Ray Clay, but you know about the bulls and he introduced them every night for a decade and there's value in that you see when you speak, you have a choice, it's almost like your words are a fulcrum to your relationships as the band's coming on stage here as we're wrapping up, but I want to just break down the fulcrum is the crucial point and a lever that allows you to lift something up and your words are the fulcrum to the lever of your relationships, and you get to decide on which end you come down with how you speak. Are you going to celebrate? Are you gonna crush? Are you going to encourage, are you going to embarrass? Are you going to develop somebody? Are you going to diminish their spirit? Are you going to bless others? Are you going to boast in yourself? Are you going to use your words to build people up or break people down? Mhm. Are you going to connect? Are you gonna curse? Are you going to celebrate the joy? Are you gonna emphasized jealousy are gonna share grace or are you going to keep on guilt? I don't know what words you need to hear this morning, but I want to share with you this morning, is that there is hope for you? I don't know if you've been broken down, beat down, not believed in crushed, but someone here this morning needs to hear that you are loved, that jesus loves you right now, where you are as you are as a child of God, that whatever addiction you've been facing, there's hope in whatever circumstance or illness or situation that you're battling, there is light, there is healing, there is hope. The reason we believe in jesus as the gospels, because not only does he save us for eternity, he sustains us for right now and offers abundant life and he did so by speaking it into existence. And Jesus himself is called the word Some of you need to hear the word of christ this morning to know that you are forgiven. There's purpose and hope for your life that you have strength to forgive those that have hurt you. Do you have the ability to get up the next day and to persevere these circumstances might bend, but they will not break you, You are not destroyed. And that God's love is deeper. Still. There is purpose for you this morning. Mhm. We're so glad you're here. And maybe you're thinking there's something that I need to say to somebody this morning. Maybe it's I love you. Maybe it's a you're good enough. Maybe it's I'm sorry or thank you whatever it is in that relationship that you have in your mind right now, I pray that you will take that step because how you speak to the measure of maturity. Yeah, during the father, we just thank you for your son. We thank you that we can praise you and God, we know that it starts with you, governor. We choose our words wisely and we start right now and worship you and shout of your praises and use our words to bless you and to love others. Thank you for saving us God, Thank you for loving us. Thank you for calling us your Children. We love your God and your sins and we pray Amen, Let's stand and sing together.