well, Good morning Church, Family and Happy Mother's Day here on this Mother's Day, we're gonna continue our series soundtracks and we are talking about faith and family now for the course of this series, a soundtrack we define as a repeated thought in your mind. So just as a song or music and get stuck in your head, there are many thoughts in the various areas of our lives that get repeated. And so in week one of our series, we talked about how we need to retire broken soundtracks to replace with better soundtracks based on the word of God and the bible and then that we need to repeat those better soundtracks until they become a regular part of our playlist. And then last week we took a look at the area of work and we share that, a better song and better soundtrack to play when it comes to our work is to remember that your work matters to God and therefore God should matter to your work. And so today we're going to take a look at family life and at parenting and regardless of your stage of life, I believe we can take encouragement from the word of God and apply them into our relationships and when it comes to parenting, oftentimes, we, we have this picture in our head or at least I do of of like building something great, like building a lighthouse like this foundational structure with a light from the word of God, so that no matter what storms are kids may come across that they can always find their way home sounds like a hallmark card, right, but the reality is that parenting much more often feels like we're playing the arcade game of pinball, right, our kids are the ball, we shoot them up into the air and they just chaotically bounce around and as parents were the flippers at the bottom, they just occasionally give them a swat and send them back on their way, okay, so maybe that's not politically correct, but we understand that the game of pinball seems like a game of chance and it seems chaotic and it just seems like bouncing around from thing to thing and that can feel like life with a family and life with kids. Well in the middle of the chaos, we want to try to find some clarity and so we start off this morning when it comes to family and family discipleship, I share with you a definition of family discipleship from pastor Matt Chandler, who puts it this way, he says family discipleship is leading your home by whatever you can, whenever you can to help your family become friends and followers of jesus christ and I love this definition because it is not a one mold or one shape fits all that, doing whatever you can whenever you can and that looks different for different families, but that the end goal is to have a family that is built on friendship and connection, but then also that collectively we can follow jesus together and so if you're taking notes, I want you to write this thought down that life can feel unscripted, but parenting should feel intentional and here's what I mean, that much of what happens in life happens to you, but parenting is one of those areas in life that you get to choose how it goes. Now, you don't necessarily get to choose how your kids turn out or how they respond to you, but you can choose a direction for your family to go. We are all part of a bigger story, a bigger narrative of how God is working throughout the world. And while God's story is much bigger than us, we get to choose if you will are speaking part, we get to choose the lines that we say. Another way to think of it, is that do you live your life by default or do you live your life by design? Do you live your life through passivity, everything happens to you, or do you live your life on and with purpose. And so today we want to talk about what does it mean to parents on purpose or to live on purpose and whatever your family structure currently is? No kids, young kids, old kids, traditional family, blended family, no family, wherever you find yourself, you have to make that decision. Am I gonna live by default or am I gonna live by design, am I gonna be passive and how the world just comes our way? Like, well it is what it is, this is what happens or are you gonna make some intentional decisions to say? I don't know the outcome, but we're gonna head this way together. And so today from scripture, I want to share with you four priorities for parents or for practical principles that should shape how we raise our kids and that these principles when put into play, allows you to have a family that is based on intention and purpose and not just this unscripted chaotic life that oftentimes family life can feel like. And so what are the four priorities of parents? Well, let's walk through these together. The first priority of a parent is what I call the ministry of Practice, the ministry of Practice. In other words, the first role of a parent is to model for our kids. A christ like faith that you have to personally choose faith for yourself, Jesus is speaking to his disciples in the middle of what's his longest recorded sermon, the sermon on the mount, he's talking about the anxious thoughts and the worries that people have and that God provides even for the birds in the air and that if God provides for them, he's gonna provide for you. And so he calls us not to be anxious and then he says this in Matthew chapter six verse 33 he says seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you, that your first priority is apparent is your own walk with jesus christ that you have to decide what do I believe and what am I gonna model for my kids In other places, in scripture. In Colossians, three Paul writes and talks about how we are called not to set our minds on earthly things, but on the things of heaven, on the things of God so much in family life is not as much taught as it is caught that they see how you respond in difficult circumstances, that they're watching, how you speak to each other, that they're watching what you prioritize. And if you prioritize faith, they will prioritize faith. But if you don't prioritize faith, that next generation is then going to think that God is not necessary. So a way to think of it is this that if you treat God as optional, the next generation will treat God as unnecessary. And so if if God and faith and church is optional for you, then for your kids faith and God is going to really be seen as unnecessary. And so your first priority. Your first ministry is a ministry of practice. And if we look in the old testament, there's a story of Joshua and Joshua was leading the people of Israel into the promised land and they had countless battles that they saw victory over. But when they were entering these lands and and taking the promised land, they were also entering the lands that had gods and other religions. And so what was happening was they would take the land. But then people would marry and then adopt the gods and the worship practices of the other people and they started mixing their faith with other faith and started mixing cultures. And so it got to the end and Joshua says this in Joshua 24 verse 15, he says, And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the Lord, choose this day whom you will serve, Whether the god your father served in the region beyond the river or the gods of the Ameri. It's in whose land you will dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord choose this day whom you will serve. I feel like all these years later, thousands of years later, we have a very similar battle because we live in a nation filled with many gods, not gods of actual existence, but really pagan worship people who place things like popularity or possessions and money or even self in the god position. You cannot help but turn on streaming services or social media or television or print media. You cannot help but go into the world and see a conflicting message that at the end of the day, it is about you and your needs. And so they worship the God of money. They worship the God of popularity. They worship the God of even tolerance. And so this idea of that no one can tell anyone anything at anytime. And in reality it is that you just don't want anyone to tell us anything. But even greater than tolerance is the virtue of love because if you love someone you will speak truth to their life and walk alongside them and serve them regardless of what's coming that way. And so in the same fashion that Joshua decided with his house, he said while they're being surrounded by other forms of worship, each family must choose who they're going to serve. But for us, for our family, we're choosing God think of it this way that if in our universe, in our galaxy here we have the sun or the star because of its size and weight. Everything else, all the planets here in our little galaxy now orbit the sun. The question is, what is the Sun or what is the star in your family system? What is the priority or thing that has central weight in your life? That of which everything else revolves around and orbits around And I get it that the struggles are real. Some sometimes it's, it can feel like sports and schedules in that way that everything orbits around that. Or maybe it's academics or maybe it's work life, whatever it is, whatever has the greatest weight or pull in your life is going to cause everything else around it. To orbit yesterday he had the the joy of going to a kid's carnival with um at my kid's school. And they had one of those rides where you can spin and then while you're spinning it also spins around and just watching it uh my stomach started to turn and so in line with kids and and I got up there and near it and then I read and I was told which is super fun that I was over the weight limit. That's encouraging. That's fun to be told that. But then I was also grateful to or at least my stomach was grateful. And so then I watched my kids go and they're spinning and then that's spinning and it really is a microcosm or expression of the universe that here we are on this planet that is spinning at roughly like 1000 kilometers a second or 1000 miles, I forget the exact number but we're spinning on a planet that is then also spinning and going around the sun, there's this massive orbit and it happens because of the weight and the size of the star in our galaxy that centralizes everything else in the world. And so for us and for our family and for your family you have to decide what is the star, what is the son in your family system because if it's faith, if it's jesus then everything else comes into alignment. But if you don't have that, you don't have that center foundation, then everything starts to scatter and get out of orbit and spins out of control? So the first priority you have as a parent is the ministry of Practice and that the best thing you can do for your kids is to grow and live out your faith on a personal level because you cannot give what you do not have right. And so the more you have faith, the more you can pass along to your Children and they're gonna see that the second Ministry of the 2nd priority that we have as parents is the Ministry of Prayer, the Ministry of Prayer, there is a real famous passage, in fact, I would say it's probably the most famous passage when it comes to parenting That's found in Deuteronomy Chapter 6? And this is actually called the chama which is kind of fun to say, it sounds like an infomercial like the shamwow or something chama but wait, there's more. And so really what this was though, this is a famous passage that was prayed in the morning and in the evening every single day. And so this is an encouragement to parents, but it is also a prayer and the word shama actually is a means to hear, but it also means to pay attention to and to focus and then at its deepest level actually means to hear and respond, Have you ever been in a conversation with A loved 1? And and find yourself saying, are you listening to me, do you hear the words coming out of my mouth? Okay and and so this idea here that do you understand that? Not only do you listen, but then you respond to it and so here we have this passage, the first word here Sharma hear O Israel the Lord, our God. The Lord is one. You shall love the Lord, your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all your might. This is the basis where jesus then gives the great commandment, it's founded here And then in verse six and these words that I command you today shall be on your heart again. That's that Ministry of Practice. That's personal. But then verse seven, you shall teach them diligently to your Children and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way, when you lie down and when you rise you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as front, let's between your eyes and you shall write them on the door posts of your house and on your gates. And so this ministry of Prayer is a hearing and responding to the word of God that they combined with practice your kids see and understand what does it mean to believe in God. And so yes, we want to respond to the word of God. But then what I love about the ministry of prayer is that whether you have no kids little kids, teenagers kids out of the house, whether they are close or they are far, you can pray for them each and every day. And what's encouraging is is that no matter how far away your kids might be from God, God is never far away from your kids and God actually cares about your kids more than you do. So can you pray for your kids, pray with your kids and then even go as far as teach them to pray. It's a fun little story I want to share with you. I learned this week that God has a name and I'm not talking like Jehovah gyro like this like God actually has a personalized name and I learned that this week and so I want you to learn from the same expert that I learned from this week and it's actually found in the Lord's prayer. So go ahead and check out this video. I got one as many of you know the Lord's prayer or the our father is one of the central prayers for christians and it contains the line, hallowed be thy name. But one little girl, she heard it a little differently, take a lesson what is God's name? Howard? How do you know his name is Howard? Because because what our father in heaven, how would be your name, your name? Howard be thy name? I mean it's obvious obviously be come on now the next time you hear that prayer, are you gonna remember this little Howard? I love that for her. She knows the Lord's prayer already. So there you go, Howard is God's name. Next time you pray that right, you're gonna be thinking of that and that what I love in that story. Besides it being cute is the fact that they have a family where they're already at a young age teaching their child or teaching their Children to pray. And so the first priority of a parent is the ministry of practice that you are choosing to live not by default, but by design and that you're choosing to be a family of faith. And the second priority of a parent is the ministry of Prayer that you are praying for your kids, you're playing with your kids and then you're living that out and then teaching them to pray. Now the 3rd priority of a parent. And when it comes to this relationship with God and faith and family, it can be found in what I call the ministry of presence. The ministry of presence. And this next passage is great because this is the interaction of jesus with Children and I love this passage because it shows the value of kids in the mind of jesus and jesus, in this case, it's not even these kids, parents, but we see that at a collective sense in the family of God that kids and Children shouldn't matter to our church family and should matter to all of us, and I want you to notice the response jesus has and his attitude towards Children, It's found in Mark Chapter 10, jesus walking through the crowds, he's doing a lot of ministry, he's preaching and in those days kids really were seen as second class or not as important and so is okay, get away, get away, and if you include the fact that kids are kind of messy and dirty already and they didn't shower every day and and bathe every day, so there's probably some sticky hands and messy and dirty and so all these kids were running up to jesus and so we see this here and the people were bringing Children to him that he might touch them and that the disciples rebuked them. And so the disciples like get away, get away, they were trying to protect jesus, but notice jesus response, he says this here, he says, but when jesus saw it, he was indignant not to the kids, but to the disciples and he said to them, let the Children come to me, do not hinder them for to such belongs the kingdom of God love that Jesus values Children, And then in verse 15, he says truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the Kingdom of God it's like a child um who does not receive the kingdom of God, like a child shall not enter it, he says not only should you let them come to me, but you should be more like them. And then in verse 16 he says, and he took them in his arms and he blessed them, laying his hands on them. From this passage from these four verses, we see four things, we see that for jesus that he showed and shared appropriate touch time, trust and talk with kids. He showed appropriate touch because he was okay with kids coming to him and it was an appropriate safe level. But that physical touch within that family setting matters to God. That that high five that hug the appropriate level of affection is valued by God. One of the best things you can do for your kids. It's just give him a hug and to receive them even when you're busy because that's the second thing that jesus was very busy and it was very crowded but he made time for them. Maybe you've seen those videos of where a parent is on one of the endless zoom calls, we now are on as a society and then the kid comes running into the background that even when jesus is at work, even when jesus was busy, he made time for his kids and for the kids there to come to him and he received them and even rebuked his coworkers, his disciples said no let them come and then he goes as far to say that you actually have to model what they do, that you have to have trust and faith and belief as a child to enter the kingdom of God. So he displays trust and belief and value of them as people and then he speaks to them in a way of blessing. And so in a society that didn't value kids, it's just something that you had to hang on to your legacy or to hang onto your property or really they had to earn their way in, jesus says no, let them come, let him sit by me with me. And so there's this ministry of presence. I remember carter would when he was little and just learning to walk still in diapers would uh would climb on our coffee table while I'm laying on our couch, watching sports. He would wait of course, until I'm not looking and then go here I come. But he would say it after he jumped sometimes with a full diaper wasn't I was like, oh there he is. And so, but he just giggle and laugh and and so there is this joy that comes from kids when they're with mom and dad, right? And so there is value in being present with your kids and, and I want to offer encouragement today because I understand that there's many in our church family and many walking online who walked are walking through a difficult season, maybe it's a single parent, maybe it is a blended family, maybe it is a difficult situation or your kids are out are now back in, I don't know what your circumstance might be, but here's what I do know Is that our job as parents is not to be present with our kids 100% of the time, but instead When we are present with our kids to be present, 100%,, does that make sense? That even if if you are the most engaged person and you're with them all the time, the reality is you are not going to be present with your kids all the time, they're going to be at school, they're going to get a job, they're gonna be to practice. Maybe you get the kids once a week, maybe get them for the summers, maybe get them every other weekend. Whatever the family situation is, your goal is not to be present with them 100% of the time, but instead when you are with them to be present. 100% and be all the way there. So that means in myself included in this, that when you're with your kids, put the phone down, the email can wait right to look a child in the eye and asked about their day and how they're doing and this ministry of presence really works into everyday life that are you present at work, Are you present with your spouse, are you present with your friends? So when you're there, you're there Sometimes a present five minute conversation with someone can change their week. If you're present in the meeting. If you're present on a date night, if you're present and you can do something together. But but be in that moment as bob Gough puts it to be where your feet are because it's not so much about counting your days, but really making your days count because it's been said that the days are long, but the years are short and I'm finding that to be true. I remember when my oldest would take naps on my chest and now he's almost as tall as I am and all the smells of middle school come with that. And so yes, it goes fast and so knowing that are we present in those moments, are you present on a phone call? It makes a difference. The last thing I want to share with you here is one that I think we all need to tell ourselves and be reminded of. And that is the ministry of permission because here's what satan's gonna do. And he's done this from the garden, Satan has been running the same play since the beginning of Creation. And it's this he's going to cause you to doubt God. He's going to cause you to doubt yourself. And then when you make the wrong decision, he's then gonna make you feel shameful and guilty and pulling you further away from God. So you doubt God you doubt yourself and then you're in this cycle and spiral of shame and guilt. The ministry of permission is allowing yourself to admit that we are not going to get it right. And that's okay. That some of us are struggling the sins of a past relationship or how we acted towards our parents or even our parents towards us or a spouse or a loved one towards us. And so we find ourselves either a victim of our own choices or a victim of the choices of other people. And now satan comes in and he says, well you're not gonna be a good parent because you didn't have one. You you you can't love your kids because look at what you did in the past that you made these mistakes if your kids only knew how messed up you really were. Mhm. Right. And so we start to hide, We start to feel shameful. We start to feel guilty. We start to pull away, we start to separate. And so I want you to give yourself the ministry of permission to receive the grace of God that he extends to everyone. This is just for a moment. Everyone eyes up here for just a moment. And just let's just take a collective deep breath together. Ready. Sometimes we have to remind ourselves that with the weight of the world on your shoulders, that we will not get it right. And that's okay because there's nothing you can do for God to love you more. And there's nothing that you will do that God will love you any less. This is the basis of unconditional love. And then the more that you receive the grace of God, the more you can parent with the grace of God. It's very difficult to give something to your kids that you have not yet received yourself. And so if you're hanging on to bitterness, what are you gonna give off to your Children? But if you can let go of the bitterness and receive the blessing that has made you who you are and all that God has given you and celebrate the resilience and perseverance and the the idea of not just being overwhelmed, but overcoming what you've come from, that now provides you a place and an opportunity in a stance to extend that grace and blessing to your kids. So the first permission is to give it to yourself. But then the second one is is that your kids are gonna need that permission to fail to, that your kids are not going to get it right. But in scripture, we find stories like the Prodigal son and we see the father not only receiving the child back into the family, but but then throwing a party when it happens, your kids will disappoint you if kids will make mistakes and wild choices and while they love it when you give them affirmation, which when you do things well, they will remember how you treat them when they fail. And so can you approach them in open loving arms and say that my love for you is unconditional because of his ministry to give them the permission to fail and know that your love is constant and not based on their performance. I want to close with this imagery That comes from Solomon, found in Psalm 1 27th and he describes it this way. And Solomon was the wisest guy in the world. He was the richest guy in the world and when he got to the end of his life, this is one of the few psalms we have recorded. He contributed to proverbs and Ecclesiastes. But he actually wrote this psalm and he says this that unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain, that'll preach with it. Unless God builds the house, unless God is present in your family, it's not gonna work, he says, Unless the Lord watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest eating the bread of anxious toil for he gives to his beloved sleep. In verse three, he says, behold Children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb of reward. And I love this imagery here verse four, like arrows in the hand of a warrior are the Children of one's youth. He describes parents as warriors. I love that my parents, we are we are in a spiritual battle. And let me tell you, satan wants your kids. But if God describes Children as an arrow, the power is not being in the quiver. Some maybe the arrows have been in the quiver a little too long ready to go out. But the power of an arrow at the end of the day happens when it is released that for many of us were trying to protect our kids from everything. When our priority should actually be to prepare our kids for anything that instead of feeling afraid of satan coming for our kids, we play offense and say no, we are launching our kids to build and expand God's kingdom and we have placed the target as heaven and the person of jesus and that we want to see our sons and daughters become men and women called for to and with God that they're gonna take ground for the kingdom. That here in the craziness and chaos of the world that we have the clarity of what it means to have faith and family that we are not just sitting back ready for the world to take our kids, but we are releasing them, launching them into this world to change the world with the good news of the gospel becoming the men and women that God has called them to be. So I go back to that first question, are you living by default, are you living by design? Are you living a family life that is passive just allowing the world and the schedules to happen? Or are you living a family based on purpose and saying as for me as for us we are going to choose the Lord and then we aim at heaven, we aim at jesus, we aim at who God is and that is our target C. S. Lewis put it this way, he said aim at heaven and you will get Earth thrown in but Aamodt Earth and you will get neither. Where are you aiming as a family? We're going to make mistakes, it's gonna be messy, there's a lot of challenges along the way. But if you want to live with purpose, if you want to have design, if you want to be intentional, it starts with having the ministry of Practice to show your kids, what does it mean? Two imperfectly love, jesus the best to your ability. It starts with having a ministry of Prayer, praying for your kids and then playing with your kids and teaching them to pray and then responding to what God tells you to do, it involves the ministry of presence to be connected to be close and then to have the ministry of permission to know that you're there for them when they fail to admit that you're gonna fail to understand that it's not a ministry of perfection that's not on this list that we don't have to because at the end of the day, life can feel unscripted thankfully our parenting can feel and be intentional when we choose to integrate our faith with her family. Let's pray dear Heavenly Father, We just thank you that on this Mother's day, we honor those who have sacrificed and has shown us what it means to have faith because we also want to be sensitive to those who are grieving today. Maybe they lost their mother in the last year. We celebrate their legacy and God for others, maybe they didn't have the best home situation. Maybe they feel isolated or alone, but God, their story is still being written. The fact that they are here today is a story of victory, a story of resilience and perseverance and all that they've overcome. And so God, it's in that victory in that overcoming in that resilience and perseverance. We celebrate these moms and these opportunities to be light that we can change. They can they can break the chain of addiction of generational passed. They can break the chain of disobedience and lost this and say, nope from now and moving forward that my faith in God will not only shape our family today, but for generations tomorrow. So God we humbly lay our families before you now and we center around who you are and God, we thank you for loving us unconditionally. And so God, we ask that we give ourselves permission to understand and admit that we make mistakes that we cannot make it on our own, that your grace and your love is bigger than all those. So we receive your grace. And then we commit our lives to live a life of grace to bestow that not a message of Brokenness, but a message of blessing. So God, we pray for our families. We pray for our friendships that we can be the light and love to those around us. And as you valued family, God allow us to value family and to view ourselves and each other as your sons and daughters. We give this family, our church family to you and your son's name. We pray. Amen.