Now, some of you might be wondering why did I bring a giant jar of marbles up on the stage. Uh well it's not just a giant jar of marbles. There's actually about 1000 marbles in this jar. Uh, technically 936 Because I had my boys actually count all of them. So um, there are 936 um marbles here in this jar and what this represents Is that every marble represents one week and this jar represents the amount of time that you have with a child from the time they're born into your home until the time they leave your house as an adult. Now some of you are shaking your heads. Maybe I need to add a few extra marbles in here because maybe kids move back in. But the idea here is that every single week that goes by no matter how you spend it, A marble comes out of the jar every single week that goes by the camps and it seems like the days are long, but the years are short and whether you have kids right now, you don't have kids, maybe your kids are grown. The truth is is that time just keeps going and doesn't slow down until one day you're gonna look up and the jar is gonna be empty. You're gonna wonder where did the time go. And so I think it's valuable to understand that our time here on earth is limited because when we understand that our time is limited, it helps us make the most of our time right now. And what this tells me is that each and every single week matters and there's value in living intentionally and on purpose in our relationships. But this also tells me that while raising kids or developing relationships does not happen in a day it does happen daily and so whatever stage you find yourself and if it's not kids, your days are still numbered in other ways and so whatever stage you find yourself in, do we recognize how quickly the time is going by? Because for every week we take a marble out, one is not replaced. It's not like a video game where you get multiple lives, you get one shot, You have one life and I believe we've gathered here today and I believe you've come today because you want your life to matter and you want your life to count and we don't want our families just simply to survive but we really want them to thrive. So just as an example I think everyone's in a different stage of life. But let me just, if you're a parent in the room, let me just walk through an example of different stages. You could be in. This actually comes from pastor Andy Stanley but in parenting, he says that through the age of 18 there are four stages that you find yourself in first of all the stage is disciplined so you have like a zero r let's be real, the 0 to 1 phase. You're just trying to keep the child alive right? Like I remember that I did not change my first diaper until I was in the hospital room with our first born and I was, my wife gonna test this, I was completely clueless. Like I was like they handed me a diaper and I was like what? And like I just was so confused. So that whole first year you're just like if I can keep this child alive, that is a win in my book. Um but then you move into this idea of discipline. So one through five, it's a lot of no, it's a lot of no, no and and just repeated no. And so and you find new creative ways to say no, but it's it's no, it seems like all the time. Well that's a stage. Well then you have from um from 5 to 12 that's a training stage, you are training them how to do the ins and outs of life, right, eating properly brushing your teeth and and how do you speak to someone, how do you act, how do you go to school, how do you interact with those things? And so that's also a stage of life and then you hit The dreaded teenage years, right? And in those years you're gonna feel like you lose your marbles okay? And you're gonna wish that sometimes goes by faster and and spending 12 years in teenage ministry understand that it can be wild, but what you're doing is that you are coaching them on how to think throughout life and how to make decisions and whether it's 18 or 20 or 35, I don't know whatever stage of life that your child leaves that house. Then hopefully you've done your part in the earlier stages and you can move into what's known as a friendship stage and you can experience life together and you can have that see, life is filled with seasons and stages and it makes an impact understanding that these moments these seasons are going by quickly. So how do we make the most of the time we have right now? If you have your bibles open up to the Book of Deuteronomy, it's in the old testament we have. We're gonna have the verses up on the screen. And we also have bibles at the welcome table. So if you do not own a bible, I'd love to encourage you to just take one uh not somebody else's but take one we have for you is a gift here on the welcome table just as our gift to you. But if you have your bibles open up, it's in the old testament. The Book of Deuteronomy. It was written here. It was collected by moses, it's the last book of what's known as the Torah, which is the first five books of the bible And moses and that the word Deuteronomy really means second law or it's it's moses is reminding the people of the 10 commandments and the other commands that God has given them. And so moses led the people out of slavery from Egypt. And while it only took a couple of days to get the people out of Egypt, it actually took 40 years to get Egypt out of God's people and to prepare them to enter the promised land that God had guaranteed to them. And so they were on the verge of entering the promised land. But they've been wandering for about 40 years moses is gonna remind them of the law of where they come from. As well as he's concerned about the next generation, because you have a whole other generation that's coming and they're going to enter a land where they worship different Gods and they're going to face battle after battle after battle. And while the passage we're gonna read today is specific to the context of what they are going through. Isn't it similar that we are concerned about the next generation and we live in a world where people worship different Gods and we understand that we're gonna face all kinds of battles. And so it's within this context that we see moses giving this proclamation in Deuteronomy Chapter six. Now, let me give you the structure of this passage. And so if you like to kind of bible nerd out a little bit, you can see the structure of the passage, I'll give you the structure and then we'll actually read it together as a group and so the structure goes this way is that first, in the first verse verse four, you're going to see a confession, you're gonna see a confession. Then in verse five, you're going to see a command Verse six, you're going to see a commitment and then verse seven through nine, you're going to see the value of communication and so we have the confession to a command to commitment and then communication. So let's go ahead and read this and find out what God has for us this morning. Deuteronomy, Chapter six, starting in verse four, hear O Israel The Lord Our God, the Lord is one. Now this is a confession because the first word there, here is the hebrew word, Shema Oshima and it actually is this not just hearing, but it's the idea of listening for the purpose of response. Isn't that a cool definition that listening for the purpose of response. In fact this declaration or confession, the hear O Israel the Lord, our God, The Lord is one. This prayer was commonly and it is even still today by jewish people commonly recited in morning and evening prayer. And so it's the foundation, it is the basis for everything else. And so it says listen for the purpose of response that the Lord is our God and that he is one moses is saying to this to the people because they're going to enter a land where people worship other gods and disobey and do other things. But he says before you enter remember this, say this in the morning, say this in the evening hear O. Israel here for the purpose of response that the Lord our God it's one. And so we have this confession and then we continue on in verse five. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart with all your soul and with all your might. So we have this command with all your heart with all your soul and with all your might. This verse is also quoted in the new testament When they asked Jesus in Mark Chapter 12 or in Matthew chapter 22 of Jesus, What is the greatest command? He says love the Lord, your God with all your heart with all your soul. And then it even adds with all your mind with all your strength. And while these these items in here, these three pictures really is to describe the entirety of the essence of who you are. So the command here is that when you have the confession that God is Lord, therefore we are to love him with all that you are. It's it's just it's a picture that you're giving everything you have to God, imagine yourself standing there on a wedding day and you're sharing your vows. How would it go over to your spouse And then also in the audience. If you said honey, I love you with part of my heart? Like wait what? Not all the time? But More than 50%. I love you honey one day a week I'm going to give everything I have to you don't mind the rest but that one day you are first like that just seems crazy right? Year old song used to sing growing up and the conservative church, their traditional church and we'd sing, I surrender all except sometimes I think in America with pursuing the american dream and it's about us and it's about our desires and it's about feeling good. The truth is if we were really singing truthfully we'd be saying to God, I surrender some when convenient I make effort and I surrender some like that. That's what we sing, right? That's sometimes over do well when we love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might that is giving everything you are the essence of your being to the God who created you. And when you do that, then it allows you to also love others with everything that you are as jesus has first loved us. And so we see that connection here in that command in verse five, let's continue reading and these words that I command to you today shall be on your heart. Are you committing this truth? Are you committing this love to impact your life? Are you receiving it? Do you believe it? And then do you live it? Do you receive the blessing of God? Do you believe the blessing of God? And then do you live to be a blessing to others? So we have a confession of who God is. We have a command of God's love and then we have a commitment to apply that in our life. When we get to verse seven the communication piece, he says that you shall teach them diligently to your Children and shall talk of them when you sit down in your house and when you walk by the way when you lie down and when you rise you shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as front. Let's between your eyes. You shall write them on the door posts of your house and on your gates. So we have two pictures of opposites when you sit down and when you rise or when you walk when you lie down and when you rise says you should write them on your body. See back at that time. Actually out of this came a practice where they would put um boys would put a little box on their left arm and inside the box they would put scripture verse or this this promise. Sometimes they would even wear something on their head and they have scripture in this box and it seems kind of crazy that you would put something on your arm that stores information until we live in the stage where we have more access and more technology in our pocket than the computer they use to help us land on the moon. Isn't that crazy? There is more power in the smart device in your pocket and on your wrist right now than the computer power and technology they had available to them when we landed on the moon. And so back then it was a box and they would put versus in as a reminder and then also as a display of who God is and what they believe. He said, commit this truth, commit this love to your heart. So that then you can talk about it with your kids when you sit and when you walk, when you lie down when you rise. It's this picture of all day. This idea of making it a regular rhythm of connecting with your kids and with your family about who God is. And so he puts it kind of this way. And there's really two truths that we find in this passage, that first word here or listen. And then we have the truth of love. So you have listening and love Now, those are two strong pillars and foundations to any relationship right now. How are they connected? Well, it's love is the actual motivation for listening and responding right? And then how do you best demonstrate that you love someone by listening to them and respond. And so go ahead and you see this cycle of listening and love. Love is the motivation for listening. And then when you love someone, you show that by listening and responding and you see this cycle repeated all throughout the book of Deuteronomy, but it's also found right here in this passage that listening and love is the foundation of any healthy relationship. So this goes beyond, we're talking about parenting, but this goes beyond parenting and goes into dating, goes into family, goes into friendship because the opposite of this, no one desires. No one wakes up and says, man, I really hope I have a relationship where the person ignores me and doesn't show me love, I'm really hoping for dysfunction, right? No one, no one wakes up that way. We have dysfunctional relationships, but no one wakes up desire in that. And so that desire comes from being created in the image of God and therefore we have this response. And so listening and loving listening and loving listening and loving. If you're having a conversation even with a small child, you want to demonstrate love and then you want to develop listening and not. And here's here's an issue that I have and maybe some of you guys have especially guys pay attention to this one, Okay, especially in dating relationships, relationships and and spouse relationships. Okay, I made the mistake of that when my wife says something to me that I tried to listen to fix it, You know, where I'm going with this instead of listening to understand like I have a fix it personality where where she, she would say something to me and immediately, oh, let's do this, do this, do this boom problem solved, awesome. Next. And what is she desiring in that moment? She's desiring me to validate how she's feeling and to hear her and that, that we're together and when you were united. And so it's not just listening to try to fix something, but it's listening to understand and to be united in the outcome of that. And so listening and love is so foundational to any healthy relationship. And so this brings us to our first principle. Over the next five weeks, we're gonna talk about five principles to having not just a surviving family life, but a thriving family life. And so the first principle to having a healthy family is this is that healthy families put God first, Healthy Families Put God 1st. Now this might seem almost too basic. We're in church. So, okay, yeah, God, we got it. But I don't think we tend to live our lives in light of this truth and it's so basic and it's so key and it's so fun, foundational that we cannot talk about family principles without first connecting our relationships with the God who created us and getting ready to plant a church. Um, I went around and had conversations with probably about 25 different pastors in the area who've been serving for countless years in this area. And then even paid for a study. We took a 3.5 mile radius around this school right here and we did what's known as the perceptions study. And so we got demographics, we got numbers, we got population, projected growth, but we also got values and what people question have questions about and what people wondering about. And so out of that and out of conversations I had with people over the last 10 months I found that two of the biggest idols that we struggle with in our community right now, our image and our kids, we struggle with Image and our kids. The first thing with image, it's this idea of Keeping Up with the joneses, right? Do you know I actually was curious because that phrase had to come from somewhere. Do you know where that phrase came from? There's actually a rich guy named Mr jones. No, just kidding actually. No, it was a comic strip back in 1913 that ran from 1913 to 1940. That was called Keeping Up With the joneses And the basis of comedy was this character who tried to live up to a standard that he couldn't of a character. This family called the joneses that they never met In the in the 30 plus years of running this comic, you never actually meet the joneses, you just hear them talk about it and how he's trying to keep up with them and so here's the thing and it works out in a different way in guys. Uh, not not all the time, but commonly because we want to keep up with image, it can be an honest struggle to have real meaningful relationships as men, right? Because we're trying to keep up, we're trying to be tough, We're trying to make the most to have the most to be unaffected by negative situations. And so this idea of, I can't, I can't cry, I can't open up, I can't be held accountable because we gotta be right, we gotta be strong. We gotta be tough when that's an idol, when we have this idea of that we have to project an image and we have to live up to something that we miss out on true, authentic relationships and it can be a struggle and talking with ladies and with mom specifically, I've heard um commonly a phrase called mom guilt, have you ever heard of this? It's the idea that moms no matter what you're doing sometimes, especially in the age of social media, you feel guilty. So if you're at home with kids, you're like, man, I wish I was working and I was doing this. But then if you're at work, you're like, I wish I was home with the kids and then if you're doing something, it's like, well I wish my home was like, so and so I wish my relationship was like this or I wish our vacations were like this and this idea of keeping up an image can be exhausting, right? So a common idol, maybe not for everybody, but for a lot of us in this room it's, we have this idea of the struggle of trying to keep up. But the second idol and some of you might have cringed when I said kids, but in this area there is more programming and opportunities for kids than ever before. Now. I love that. I love that. I love the opportunity for kids. You know, my kids are in sports there in programs and here, but the struggle is real. If you had kids, you understand this, that you have to keep them in sports all year round, you have to give them an all the practices, all the camps, all the things, every opportunity and like we find ourselves running around running around running around and at the same time, we, we can lose ourselves in light of that. Kids are awesome blessings and horrible gods and in trying to give our kids everything. If we don't make God first we lose everything and you might lose your kids in the process. If you're taking notes, you can write this down. Is that the truth is that if God is not first, I can guarantee your priorities are out of order. If God is not first in your life, then you're priorities are messed up and it's gonna come back to bite you in some way, shape or form, But by placing your relationship with God 1st and Loving and Listening, it sets an example to connect everything else. See why is this important to put God first in your family relationships? I believe it's important, no matter what season you're in, because putting God first in your relationship gives you five things first, it gives you a foundation for life. Matthew six verse 33 says seek first the kingdom of God and the rest of these things he will give you also any development, any building being established. The first thing they do is they create the foundation. Now the problem with pouring in the foundation is that nobody sees it, it's not exciting. But if you try to put frames on the relationship without the foundation of God, then any time a storm comes along, it could wipe it out. So the stronger foundation, you have the stronger relationships you're going to have long term. And putting God first does that secondly, putting God first gives you a filter for decision making. Putting God first gives you a filter for decision making, it gives you something to run all your questions through questions like is this wise, does this honor God? Because if you don't have a filter to run your questions through and you're only left to feeling and desire that works well until your feelings and desires are different than the person you're in relationship with. And if you have no scale and you have no foundation to judge it off of what do you do at that point? Either one of you has to sacrifice desire and feelings or the relationship completely breaks. But if you have the foundation and the filter of putting God first, that gives you a lens through which you can see life and that you can actually make decisions. I believe it was C. S. Lewis who says, I believe in God, like I believe in the sun because not only by do I see the sun but through the sun. I see the rest of the world in the same way believing in God gives you a different worldview on how you view making decisions in life. Third putting God first gives you the faculty of forgiveness, not faculty like staff, but faculty like power. It gives you the ability to both receive and give forgiveness. If you have no concept of God, forgiveness is gonna be very difficult for you. But when you understand that God has forgiven you completely, then that allows you to in turn forgive others. And when you allow God to be in the God position, Then it says in first John 19 if we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive them. And so we have that. And so we have a foundation for life, seek first the kingdom of God. We have a filter for decision making. It says in Romans 122 do not be conformed or do not conform any longer to the patterns of this world to be transformed by the renewal of your mind. We have a faculty for forgiveness. The next thing here, if you're taking notes is that we have the feeling of unity. Unity comes when you connect over something greater than yourself because if it's only desire as soon as your desires differ, the relationship breaks. That's why I like sports is a great example that you have all kinds of personalities, all kinds of people working on different positions. But they have the same mission or same goal that they come together, come together as a team and that they have a mission or something greater than themselves to accomplish. It says here to walk in a manner worthy of your calling and to be unified in spirit in Ephesians four. If you were here on good Friday service. And we had this dinner with about 120 of us here in the room and that just felt special, didn't it? It was just awesome. It was this connection, there was openness, there was relationship, it was friendliness. It was love. The reason we have that. The reason we had that feeling of unity was not because there was this vague fuzziness in the air that made us feel good. Oh that was nice, That was cute. But we were bonded by the very love of God. That's why Jose and Katia, as missionaries can go down and in a different language in a different setting, Go down and bond with other people because they have this immediate connection and feeling of unity because the love of God is in them. The last thing here for taking notes is that putting God first gives you the faith to fight. You're gonna face all kinds of battles in life In Ephesians chapter six verse 16, it says faith is the shield That protects you from the flaming arrows coming in from the Evil one. Sometimes in a relationship, faith is all you have. But faith gives you the ability to fight because when you feel like you've got nothing left, when you feel like time is coming out, you understand that God is holding you in that moment. So that's why that's why we should put God first. But I want to end this morning with kind of a self evaluation of how do we put God first? That's nice that we should hear that God has won and that we should love him with all our strength and with all our heart and with all our soul. But john what does that actually look like? How do we even do that? How do we put God first in our relationships, if you're taking notes, I want you to write this down. Is that what you value, determines what you do, What you value, determines what you do. Therefore what you do demonstrates what you value, what you value, determines what you do, Like why don't I don't know what I value, How can I say? I value this? Okay, well then look flip it. Does your actions right now demonstrate that you're putting God first in your relationship. Let me just give you kind of a self test and you can only be honest as much as you're willing to with yourself. No one's looking at your answers here. Okay, but let me give you some criteria to consider 1st 1. Are you having personal time with God? Are you having personal time with God? That looks different for different people? And so we're not gonna get into methods right now. But is there a moment in the day where you are talking or having a conversation with God in prayer and that you're connecting with what the bible says, whether through word or music or reading or listening, are you having a personal time with God? Does that demonstrate your priority? Second? Corporate worship? There is something special when the body of God, the church gathers and worship. Now I understand there are times when you're out and and doing that and that church is not a building, but it's who we are and so that you take that with you. But two things happen when you regularly miss corporately worshiping together is one that you miss out, if you think of a campfire and you have a campfire burning and you remove one log, the one log will always burn out before the campfire because there is power when people gather in jesus name, but secondly we miss out because we believe you have something to give and to love and to serve someone else and so the body misses out when you miss out. And so what if however often you come, what if you just came one more time because you were connected? I want to challenge you if you've not been actively involved in church to come these next five weeks to test this test and see if you come for five weeks, if you come consistently at the end of that, do you feel closer to God or further away? I believe you're gonna find yourself closer. 3rd is do you have community connections? We offer um growth groups, we have other groups, meaning that maybe that can be found, that community connection can be found in um like activities or kids sports teams or or workplace, but wherever there is, do you have community somewhere? Somewhere where somebody knows you and that where you know other people, do you have that community connection? 4th 1. Are you having regular, deeper conversations with people? Regular, deeper conversations with people beyond the surface level and the last one, have you created a rhythm of serving others because as you serve others, you gain a whole new understanding of how jesus served us. So just keep these down, remind these and as the band comes up on stage, just understand this, that healthy families understand that time is coming and I don't I don't know where you are and maybe you feel like I've lost some, maybe you feel like man this is going out, I don't know. But as time is going out and you feel like you're losing your marbles at times at whatever stage you're in understand that you can't control the past, you can't control what stage you're in. But the truth is you can control this week, you can control right now and you can decide right now that this week I'm going to put God first in my life, let's pray dear heavenly father, I just thank you for your son, God, We just praise you for who you are. God help us to understand that healthy families put you first. God may you give us the strength to listen and to love you with all our heart with all our soul and all our strength. We have conversations with our kids. We have rhythms where we are serving others and then we place you first as we make decisions as a family, we gotta help our families, not just simply to survive, but to thrive and when we do that by putting you first today, God, we love you, it's in your son's name. We pray Amen.